So yesterday at 3 in the morning I left to Croatia. 18 hours later I arrived. 18 hours! But it was well worth it, because at the end I saw my cutie pie again. Iva likes to plan alot; we're going to some resort, to Venice, and some other stuff. I love it! We really complement each other. Plans - spontaniousness, sanity - insanity, kittens - monkeys.
Today we met with Jasna, who is busy organizing a yes+ here in Croatia. Since I'm no longer under YWC oath I'm free to do as I please, so I decided to help her with organizing. According to her, international people here are very interesting, so my appearance alone should turn some heads to yes+. The course itself starts in 2 weeks, so I can see myself staying here for a bit longer than planned. Plans are a guideline, not a course of action.
Let's see what happens. It would be really nice to assist another yes+ course, this time with Vesna, a very experienced teacher. She did the eternity process with me, it would be really nice to see her again, and learn from her. Also, I'm invited for Dresden in mid June, to appear on a music festival representing Art of Living. Good stuff!
Life is presenting me the opportunities just like that, I don't have to put any effort; just do the kriya and stay sharp. It might be April before I get home, when I do the yes+ here, and give Bad Antogast a short visit on the way back. I like this spontanious stuff; keeps it interesting!
Friday, 26 February 2010
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Cherries on Top
The course just ended barely half an hour ago. We were only 3, but it was very nice. Most people couldn't come, but it was perfect as it was. It was the first time I was teaching all by myself, and I must say it went really well! In fact, I can't think of anything I could've done better; it was simply good. Didn't cost me any effort at all either, I suppose that's the secret.
I was just there in every moment, talking, listening; it didn't matter. There was just a flow of energy that I was subtly directing, but I didn't really do anything. I just shared, and let them share. It was so easy! I'm still amazed by how smoothly everything went. And they say that with bigger groups it's even easier cause there's more energy.
This was definitely the best teaching experience I've had so far, and I'm definitely gonna continue on this path, even if only part time. That part of my time I will still be there as if it was full time! There is definitely a future in this stuff, not so far away; I really felt it tonight.
So tomorrow is one of my last nights here, featuring pasta ala stevo and a yet to be decided movie. Most of my friends will come, so that's really nice. I feel like I've done what I came here to do, and I can close this chapter now. Dresden mission accomplished. My hand stands still need a bit of practice, but I've come a long way. Much better than before! I can't wait to see my angel again, I feel so connected!
Definitely a good ending, like a cherry on top of my YWC pie. Life is good!
I was just there in every moment, talking, listening; it didn't matter. There was just a flow of energy that I was subtly directing, but I didn't really do anything. I just shared, and let them share. It was so easy! I'm still amazed by how smoothly everything went. And they say that with bigger groups it's even easier cause there's more energy.
This was definitely the best teaching experience I've had so far, and I'm definitely gonna continue on this path, even if only part time. That part of my time I will still be there as if it was full time! There is definitely a future in this stuff, not so far away; I really felt it tonight.
So tomorrow is one of my last nights here, featuring pasta ala stevo and a yet to be decided movie. Most of my friends will come, so that's really nice. I feel like I've done what I came here to do, and I can close this chapter now. Dresden mission accomplished. My hand stands still need a bit of practice, but I've come a long way. Much better than before! I can't wait to see my angel again, I feel so connected!
Definitely a good ending, like a cherry on top of my YWC pie. Life is good!
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Masterpieces
Today is the last day of the course. It's actually about to start quite soon. I made a lot of sweets, there will be presents, beautiful processes and games; a good day for celebration. Guruji says make life a celebration, that's why the last day of the course should feel like that. Of course the whole course is a celebration, but there's also a lot of ass kicking going on in yes+. So on the last day it should be light.
Cigdem left this morning, so today I'm on my own, but that's fine. Cigdem and me have been doing a really good job so far. I felt very comfortable teaching together with her. She's gonna be a bit longer in Berlin, so rock it girl! As for me, after this course its bye bye Dresden, bye bye YWC.
Everything has to end sooner or later, and that's a good thing. The only thing that doesn't end or change is our true nature, and that's also a good thing. Yesterday I had a very deep experience after the short kriya. I went out of my body fully conscious, but I was also still in my body at the same time. It was not like I was outside of myself like a third person, but more like I was at more places at the same time. Really cool stuff!
Soon I will depart for Croatia to visit my little sweety, and after that it will be on to the next step. I got my mind made up, now it's just a matter of executing. I have visions about the future. Fast forwarding through the DVD we call life, I already know what will happen. But I don't like to spoil the fun for myself; just let it play, and enjoy.
Act II: Plugging back in. Like they do in the Matrix; another masterpiece.
Cigdem left this morning, so today I'm on my own, but that's fine. Cigdem and me have been doing a really good job so far. I felt very comfortable teaching together with her. She's gonna be a bit longer in Berlin, so rock it girl! As for me, after this course its bye bye Dresden, bye bye YWC.
Everything has to end sooner or later, and that's a good thing. The only thing that doesn't end or change is our true nature, and that's also a good thing. Yesterday I had a very deep experience after the short kriya. I went out of my body fully conscious, but I was also still in my body at the same time. It was not like I was outside of myself like a third person, but more like I was at more places at the same time. Really cool stuff!
Soon I will depart for Croatia to visit my little sweety, and after that it will be on to the next step. I got my mind made up, now it's just a matter of executing. I have visions about the future. Fast forwarding through the DVD we call life, I already know what will happen. But I don't like to spoil the fun for myself; just let it play, and enjoy.
Act II: Plugging back in. Like they do in the Matrix; another masterpiece.
Friday, 19 February 2010
Miracles
Miracles always come when you least expect them. That's why we call them miracles. In fact, a miracle doesn't exist for someone who doesn't have any expectations. But I suppose it's a nice thing for those who haven't been able to let go of their expectations so far, myself included. Because I honestly didn't expect the yes+ course to happen. Truth be told, we're a small amount of people, and therefore it will be a little bit of a different setup, leaving some things out.
But still, the course is happening! I called Cigdem today and told her to come. Yesterday 4 people came; 2 canceled, but 2 others came by surprise. One of them said she didn't really feel like doing the whole course, but she still showed up today! I guess I changed her mind. Since there was a kriya today, people were coming, including a guy who canceled for the course the other day. Sebastian then said he should come, and he did! +1.
Also Sebastian and Xenia, my friends and local volunteers for Art of Living here in Dresden, came to the course. So now we're 6, plus me and Cigdem. Today was the first day, 4 more to go. Tomorrow we'll do the first kriya, and after that we'll have some food, fun, and games. I'm really happy that it's finally happening!
But still, the course is happening! I called Cigdem today and told her to come. Yesterday 4 people came; 2 canceled, but 2 others came by surprise. One of them said she didn't really feel like doing the whole course, but she still showed up today! I guess I changed her mind. Since there was a kriya today, people were coming, including a guy who canceled for the course the other day. Sebastian then said he should come, and he did! +1.
Also Sebastian and Xenia, my friends and local volunteers for Art of Living here in Dresden, came to the course. So now we're 6, plus me and Cigdem. Today was the first day, 4 more to go. Tomorrow we'll do the first kriya, and after that we'll have some food, fun, and games. I'm really happy that it's finally happening!
Thursday, 18 February 2010
To Teach or Not to Teach
That's indeed the question. It's a nice job, but organizing is a bitch. I'll say it once again: organizing is a bitch! It's so hard to get these people to move, makes me feel like I don't wanna put any more energy into it. So I don't. If you chase two rabbits, you'll lose them both. I'm just gonna do my own stuff and do the yoga workshops for whoever wants to come.
There's no pizza to be delivered here, nobody wants it so I'm not gonna keep telling people how nice and tasty it is. No, instead, I'm gonna eat it myself and enjoy. Besides, people like pasta ala stevo more than pizza ala Art of Living around here. Maybe back in Holland I'll have more luck. Obviously I'm doing something wrong here.
I remember when I came here in Dresden I had big dreams; I wanted to get together with the yes+ group from last time, have fun, and inspire them to do some PR with their friends and relatives. To get people through their social networks and organize a big course with 30-50 people. That's how I imagined it to be. But it wasn't that easy; I had to do everything myself, barely got any assistance with whatsoever. And since conventional methods have such little results, I felt my efforts were wasted and became lazy.
Most people say this is the point where you have to keep going. For me this is the point to reflect on what I'm doing and find another way, cause what I was doing so far obviously didn't work. I'm a man of efficiency and I don't want to waste a single breath on bad tactics. I like to keep going when I know there's gonna be result. I find it hard to surrender to faith without any rational backup. I have faith in many things, because I have a good idea of how things work, and after that it's just Jai Gurudev. Let go, and let be.
But without clever thinking, I find it extremely hard to have faith in actions. Maybe this is just something I have to cross, my learning point. Who knows, I suppose my music efforts will prove to be a good learning class for this. So what did I learn then in YWC? Many things, but I still feel like I learned nothing. It's a strange feeling, being full and empty at the same time. I'm completely changed from before in a very good way, and at the same time I'm completely the same. Was it worth it? Definitely, without a doubt! But I feel like I'm only at the beginning of a very long learning curve.
I suppose that's a good thing; if I would've been done with learning at age 22, what am I gonna do with the rest of my life? I'm still looking for something that I can give my heart to. Organizing isn't it, even for Art of Living. Convincing other people is one of the things I hate doing the most. I've spent my past 10 years convincing people of my beliefs, and in this year I realized that it's all bullshit. I still think about life, but just for myself. Everyone has to walk their own path, see the things they have to see, and think for themselves.
Of course I'll gladly share whatever I have with whoever is interested, that is definitely not in question. But this is not my responsibility. Or at least, I'm not taking it as my responsibility. People will have to put effort themselves if they wanna learn something new. It's a new attitude, a new kind of service. I just radiate, vibrate myself, and whoever is attracted can take whatever one wants to take; it's a like a big buffet. I don't need anything in return, I just want to give, but only to those who want to receive. And I'm not gonna put my energy anywhere else.
Because I do believe the shit will hit the fan for many people in the near future. I could say "told you so" but that's not gonna solve anything. It is at that time when the earth shakes that we start waking up. Who knows, some people die in their sleep. Whether that's a pleasant death or not doesn't matter. Let them die. They can continue their path in the next life.
It's a new attitude of self centered serving. I have so many things to do for me, I don't have time to tell other people what to do! Let me reap the fruits and I will see the truths; one of my lines. I mean that for me to grow, I have to reap my own fruits, and then people can see the beauty of blossoming. I think this is the key.
If I give someone a seed and tell them it's gonna turn into a beautiful tree, then how many people will trust me and commit that much time and effort to grow their tree? Very few; only the faithful, or the stupid. What I have to do, is to grow my roots deep, and my tree tall, and let it blossom in all it's beauty. Then people will see and ask: "How did you do that?", "Where did you get that from?". With such a picture in mind it's not very hard to commit yourself to a new path.
So the goal is clear; let's bake myself a nice big pie, and share it with whoever wants a piece. It's like I do my pasta ala stevo's; they're always a success. Socratez will serve food for your mind.
There's no pizza to be delivered here, nobody wants it so I'm not gonna keep telling people how nice and tasty it is. No, instead, I'm gonna eat it myself and enjoy. Besides, people like pasta ala stevo more than pizza ala Art of Living around here. Maybe back in Holland I'll have more luck. Obviously I'm doing something wrong here.
I remember when I came here in Dresden I had big dreams; I wanted to get together with the yes+ group from last time, have fun, and inspire them to do some PR with their friends and relatives. To get people through their social networks and organize a big course with 30-50 people. That's how I imagined it to be. But it wasn't that easy; I had to do everything myself, barely got any assistance with whatsoever. And since conventional methods have such little results, I felt my efforts were wasted and became lazy.
Most people say this is the point where you have to keep going. For me this is the point to reflect on what I'm doing and find another way, cause what I was doing so far obviously didn't work. I'm a man of efficiency and I don't want to waste a single breath on bad tactics. I like to keep going when I know there's gonna be result. I find it hard to surrender to faith without any rational backup. I have faith in many things, because I have a good idea of how things work, and after that it's just Jai Gurudev. Let go, and let be.
But without clever thinking, I find it extremely hard to have faith in actions. Maybe this is just something I have to cross, my learning point. Who knows, I suppose my music efforts will prove to be a good learning class for this. So what did I learn then in YWC? Many things, but I still feel like I learned nothing. It's a strange feeling, being full and empty at the same time. I'm completely changed from before in a very good way, and at the same time I'm completely the same. Was it worth it? Definitely, without a doubt! But I feel like I'm only at the beginning of a very long learning curve.
I suppose that's a good thing; if I would've been done with learning at age 22, what am I gonna do with the rest of my life? I'm still looking for something that I can give my heart to. Organizing isn't it, even for Art of Living. Convincing other people is one of the things I hate doing the most. I've spent my past 10 years convincing people of my beliefs, and in this year I realized that it's all bullshit. I still think about life, but just for myself. Everyone has to walk their own path, see the things they have to see, and think for themselves.
Of course I'll gladly share whatever I have with whoever is interested, that is definitely not in question. But this is not my responsibility. Or at least, I'm not taking it as my responsibility. People will have to put effort themselves if they wanna learn something new. It's a new attitude, a new kind of service. I just radiate, vibrate myself, and whoever is attracted can take whatever one wants to take; it's a like a big buffet. I don't need anything in return, I just want to give, but only to those who want to receive. And I'm not gonna put my energy anywhere else.
Because I do believe the shit will hit the fan for many people in the near future. I could say "told you so" but that's not gonna solve anything. It is at that time when the earth shakes that we start waking up. Who knows, some people die in their sleep. Whether that's a pleasant death or not doesn't matter. Let them die. They can continue their path in the next life.
It's a new attitude of self centered serving. I have so many things to do for me, I don't have time to tell other people what to do! Let me reap the fruits and I will see the truths; one of my lines. I mean that for me to grow, I have to reap my own fruits, and then people can see the beauty of blossoming. I think this is the key.
If I give someone a seed and tell them it's gonna turn into a beautiful tree, then how many people will trust me and commit that much time and effort to grow their tree? Very few; only the faithful, or the stupid. What I have to do, is to grow my roots deep, and my tree tall, and let it blossom in all it's beauty. Then people will see and ask: "How did you do that?", "Where did you get that from?". With such a picture in mind it's not very hard to commit yourself to a new path.
So the goal is clear; let's bake myself a nice big pie, and share it with whoever wants a piece. It's like I do my pasta ala stevo's; they're always a success. Socratez will serve food for your mind.
Monday, 8 February 2010
Letting Go
It's a crazy world we're living in. Just now tonight I had almost forgotten about the mini yoga workshop, when suddenly 4 people arrive. You have to imagine that i was always doing it with like 1 or 2 people, and sometimes nobody showed up. But then when I let go, and put the least amount of effort, it suddenly happens that people come. I was so happily surprised; I even gave one of the girls a YWC CD for free!
That same girl was also really interested in doing the yes+ course. I need to get more people now, because she would really love it, and so would they. Are things finally moving in Dresden? Looks like it! Let's see what's up next. Wednesday I'm going to the meditation evening again, so maybe I can catch some more lost souls there. Either way, this little event really motivated me when I was needing it most. Thanks! You can be sure I'll gladly continue freezing my ass off flyering now.
About one week left, it's definitely possible. Three more yoga nights to introduce people to spirituality. It's gonna be an exciting game! Like those football games where your favorite team is losing, and time is ticking, but they're working for it, and they might just pull it off! I remember seeing Liverpool beat AC Milan or whatever team it was, from a 3-0 to a 3-3, and then they even managed to take it during extra time. I was watching it in Paris, when I was there with school. Must have been 2004. It's probably on youtube.
I must say that my favorite yes+ participants are those who never did anything similar, are a little bit sceptical, but still have the open mindedness to at least come and check it out. Just lovely. Such was one of the girls who was here tonight. Afterwards I asked her how she liked it, and she was really happy that she came. And that's it; doing something new is always a rewarding experience, even if it doesn't seem so at first glance. Because not all our experiences are labled as good.
This is why I don't like to label an experience as good or bad. It's just an experience, and nothing more or less. Every experience can help you find truth, help you find you, help you grow. You just gotta let go and enjoy the ride. You don't have any control over this rollercoaster anyway; it's just happening, and it will keep on happening. Whoever was afraid of losing sight of the events that occured to one's life, was the one who made up the illusion of control. There is no control, but in thinking there is, lies salvation.
Really? I think the only thing that can come from that idea is frustration; as soon as events take on a turn which is not to your likings, you'll start tearing your hair out and scream. Figuratively speaking, but sure some people actually do this. Just let go and relax. I believe everything happens for good, but you need to be able to perceive this, to recognize it. When is our perception clear? When we're relaxed. So what is the last thing we should do when the shit hits the fan? Exactly.
Most people are coca cola machines; you press a button, knowing exactly what will come out. Most of human behaviour has got nothing to do with consciousness or reason, even though people would like to believe so. As Oscar Wilde so eloquenty put: "One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason."
It takes time and practice to become aware of these tendencies, but it's definitely worth it. Trust me, you don't wanna be a football of your own software program. If there's anything you would like to control, I would say don't let your emotions control you.
That same girl was also really interested in doing the yes+ course. I need to get more people now, because she would really love it, and so would they. Are things finally moving in Dresden? Looks like it! Let's see what's up next. Wednesday I'm going to the meditation evening again, so maybe I can catch some more lost souls there. Either way, this little event really motivated me when I was needing it most. Thanks! You can be sure I'll gladly continue freezing my ass off flyering now.
About one week left, it's definitely possible. Three more yoga nights to introduce people to spirituality. It's gonna be an exciting game! Like those football games where your favorite team is losing, and time is ticking, but they're working for it, and they might just pull it off! I remember seeing Liverpool beat AC Milan or whatever team it was, from a 3-0 to a 3-3, and then they even managed to take it during extra time. I was watching it in Paris, when I was there with school. Must have been 2004. It's probably on youtube.
I must say that my favorite yes+ participants are those who never did anything similar, are a little bit sceptical, but still have the open mindedness to at least come and check it out. Just lovely. Such was one of the girls who was here tonight. Afterwards I asked her how she liked it, and she was really happy that she came. And that's it; doing something new is always a rewarding experience, even if it doesn't seem so at first glance. Because not all our experiences are labled as good.
This is why I don't like to label an experience as good or bad. It's just an experience, and nothing more or less. Every experience can help you find truth, help you find you, help you grow. You just gotta let go and enjoy the ride. You don't have any control over this rollercoaster anyway; it's just happening, and it will keep on happening. Whoever was afraid of losing sight of the events that occured to one's life, was the one who made up the illusion of control. There is no control, but in thinking there is, lies salvation.
Really? I think the only thing that can come from that idea is frustration; as soon as events take on a turn which is not to your likings, you'll start tearing your hair out and scream. Figuratively speaking, but sure some people actually do this. Just let go and relax. I believe everything happens for good, but you need to be able to perceive this, to recognize it. When is our perception clear? When we're relaxed. So what is the last thing we should do when the shit hits the fan? Exactly.
Most people are coca cola machines; you press a button, knowing exactly what will come out. Most of human behaviour has got nothing to do with consciousness or reason, even though people would like to believe so. As Oscar Wilde so eloquenty put: "One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason."
It takes time and practice to become aware of these tendencies, but it's definitely worth it. Trust me, you don't wanna be a football of your own software program. If there's anything you would like to control, I would say don't let your emotions control you.
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Smokin' Aces
Seen that movie? It's not so special, so don't worry if you haven't. I've seen it quite a while ago, but that's not what I wanted to talk about this time anyway. No my children, this is about the wonderful game of Poker, worthy of a capital P. Throughout YWC I've amazed myself with my musical performance as in: I never thought I would ever be doing such things. The same thing applies to poker.
I used to be the kinda guy who bets on 'sure things' so to say. Was that me? No, it was just the fear of losing something. In fact, poker is all but gambling; it's a strategical game, based on mathematics, in which the best player will - eventually - always win. I'll put some emphasis on the word eventually, because this game requires you to have a lot of patience. There's no room for emotion in poker; it will strip you from all your money before you know it.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to sound like a poker expert, but this is what I learned so far. I've only been playing for a few days now, and not for real money; I'm still in training school. Once I'm ready to join the big boys it will become harder, but so far I'm doing good. I managed to win about 100 times more than I lost, so at least that's something!
Anyway, for the sceptics among us: Luck is indeed also a factor in poker, but it's spread evenly, so it's definitely not a reliable force. This is why sometimes, when the odds are with you, you still lose! It's just part of the game, but that also makes it charming. Like I said, important is to be patient; the quicker you want to take the cash, the quicker others will take it from you. Poker needs time, and there's little room for opportunism.
With opportunism I mean that in theory, you could win the game with every hand. But poker is not about possibility, it's about probability. Wage your chances according to what's at stake, and make the mathematical decision. Other factors are the playing styles of your opponents; depending on what they do, it can give you an indication of their hand.
All in all, this will definitely become a hobby of mine. Poker is a lovely game because it's simple, yet very challenging. It's also a good training for the mind, to keep your cool and not let emotions guide you. I think this is the biggest challenge of poker. You can be smart, but what when you lose a few games despite the odds being in your favour? Will you want to get that money back the next game, or do you patiently wait until it's your time to strike. Poker is a discipline.
In Yes+ we have a little story, about the rabbit and the tortoise. It's about them running against each other in which different events occur that changes the outcome of the match. There's a few lessons to be learned from this story that actually apply a lot to poker:
1) Slow and steady wins the game.
2) Fast and reliable is better.
3) Don't run, unless you have key compentencies.
Amen.
I used to be the kinda guy who bets on 'sure things' so to say. Was that me? No, it was just the fear of losing something. In fact, poker is all but gambling; it's a strategical game, based on mathematics, in which the best player will - eventually - always win. I'll put some emphasis on the word eventually, because this game requires you to have a lot of patience. There's no room for emotion in poker; it will strip you from all your money before you know it.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to sound like a poker expert, but this is what I learned so far. I've only been playing for a few days now, and not for real money; I'm still in training school. Once I'm ready to join the big boys it will become harder, but so far I'm doing good. I managed to win about 100 times more than I lost, so at least that's something!
Anyway, for the sceptics among us: Luck is indeed also a factor in poker, but it's spread evenly, so it's definitely not a reliable force. This is why sometimes, when the odds are with you, you still lose! It's just part of the game, but that also makes it charming. Like I said, important is to be patient; the quicker you want to take the cash, the quicker others will take it from you. Poker needs time, and there's little room for opportunism.
With opportunism I mean that in theory, you could win the game with every hand. But poker is not about possibility, it's about probability. Wage your chances according to what's at stake, and make the mathematical decision. Other factors are the playing styles of your opponents; depending on what they do, it can give you an indication of their hand.
All in all, this will definitely become a hobby of mine. Poker is a lovely game because it's simple, yet very challenging. It's also a good training for the mind, to keep your cool and not let emotions guide you. I think this is the biggest challenge of poker. You can be smart, but what when you lose a few games despite the odds being in your favour? Will you want to get that money back the next game, or do you patiently wait until it's your time to strike. Poker is a discipline.
In Yes+ we have a little story, about the rabbit and the tortoise. It's about them running against each other in which different events occur that changes the outcome of the match. There's a few lessons to be learned from this story that actually apply a lot to poker:
1) Slow and steady wins the game.
2) Fast and reliable is better.
3) Don't run, unless you have key compentencies.
Amen.
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