A Mystical Journey

India. A country that has a veil of mystery. I've never been there, but heard much about it. What to expect? I don't know, and I love that I don't. I do know, that I'm going to love it! Sometimes people ask me: "How do you know if you're going to like something or not?", and the answer is simple; liking or disliking is nothing more than an attitude. Were there things that you used to hate, but now like, or the other way around? Of course there were, and if not than you should try some new things.

I'm leaving in a few hours already! First to Frankfurt, because tomorrow I have an early flight, and I wouldn't be able to make the plane if I were to leave tomorrow morning. I will leave my laptop in a locker at the airport, because I've been adviced not to take too many valuables with me. Also, I'm gonna travel with a light suitcase, cause I don't want to be fully packed when I can buy cheap clothes there!

I will be doing some amazing courses, together with hundreds of young people from around the world. For sure it's gonna be one big bubbling party full of madness. Madness? This is Art of Living!

Also important to know is the temperature; I feel for you guys all cold in the snow and rain! We'll see what happens, but I know I'm gonna love it.

India, here I come!

Walking in Grace

Goodness, my children, so much has happened in the past few weeks. In all the chaos I couldn't find time to easily sit my ass down and let my thoughts gently touch the keyboard. But right now I'm in a haven of peace, a place where I can always go, always able to return to; a place I call home. Here I can write in peace.

A lot of things happened lately; I first went to Bad Antogast, then I went to Holland to pick up Iva at the airport, and then we had a great time visiting my friends and family in Holland. It was really amazing and I'm really happy that she came to visit me here. It was a shame that the christmas dinner I was so much looking forward to, was cancelled due to bad weather, but there wasn't anything we could do about it.

I mean, what to do about the weather? Not worth getting upset about. Iva thought differently; she was very annoyed by the incompetence of the Dutch railways. And yes, the dutch railways weren't doing much of a good job as usually. At least they didn't check for tickets, so we didn't have to pay the ridiculously overpriced travel fees. You would think that our high tech trains can handle a bit of snow, but it seems that the more advanced the technology gets, the more sensitive it gets to environmental changes as well.

But enough about that, it's not worth typing about. What is worth typing about, is how much I love Iva. I feel so fulfilled with her, she's a really nice kitty girl to care for. It was strange to see her leave again today; one moment she's in your arms, the next moment she's on her way home, 1000 miles away from you. It's tough to switch back to separation, especially after only a week. I can't wait to start something new with her when I'm done with the YWC program!

So what will that be? We've been thinking about Amsterdam; I can get us a place to live, make some money, and make music, while she finishes her study. But she's also looking into her New York thing. I don't know if I can follow her all the way into Manhattan if she decides to go there soon, but we'll see. You never know what's in store for you. There's always a plan, you'll encounter something sooner or later that points you into the right direction. You just gotta dare to make a leap of faith. Does that mean I should move to NYC with her? Or does it mean that would just be the crossroads where our ways will part?

I have no idea, but I hope I'll be able to enjoy her for some more time. I aint worried though; no reason to do so at all. Just be grateful for what you got, for you're walking in grace anyway. Spoiled people fail to see the beauty in their lives, instead they complain about what they don't have. Is that worth stressing yourself over? What if you could change your whole world just by changing yourself? It would be a most efficient way of living. All you have to do, is to be honest with yourself. Feeding other people shit is business and politics, but feeding yourself shit is just plain stupid.

Eat fresh, be fresh.

P.S. and a big thanks to all my homies who were there to meet my lovely girl; don't worry, I'll bring her back again someday!

Frischkase

Few things I love more than a nice german bread with seeds in it, that I cut in nice slices, and then put cream cheese on it with some chunky chat masala. It's the golden find for me; I could eat a whole bread like that in one go, it's just that delicious.

Today I was given a choice, a tough one. It's funny that sometimes choices seem hard at first, but they end up being easy, whereas now the choice seemed easy, but it ended up being hard. So let me explain...

As you know I've been traveling around a lot lately, but not for Art of Living. I always seem to manage myself into some exceptional status in which I can do whatever I want. It must be some kind of gift, but at the same time it's a weakness, because it lets me stay in my comfort zone whereas, others would've gotten pulled out already. So I would say: Use with caution.

So Katya, manager of YWC, sent me an email the other day telling me I should come back to BA to help with christmas preparations there. I replied that it would have little use since I'm going back to Holland in a few days. Then she said that I was doing all these things aside from YWC, and she was asking me if I still consider myself to be in YWC. It's not like she told me what to do, she just wanted me to make up my mind; you're either on the team, or you're off the team.

At first the choice seemed logical; if I can't do what I want, then I'll be off the team. But as time passed, it became evident to me that I would have to stay, for it was in my best interest. I was imagining how it would be if I were to stay on YWC, because the only reason why I make my own plans is because of Iva. Other than that I really don't care; they can send me where ever they want. Then I thought of leaving YWC, so going to the winterbreak in a few weeks, then coming back home, finding a job, and plan my next trip. As I thought of this I observed that my energy immediately went down; deep in my heart, I wanted to stay.

So the decision was made, now it was to deal with the consequences. What if I wouldn't be able to come back to Holland on the 16th, but a few days later? Would I tell Iva to cancel her flights? I already pulled that on her once, and I knew a second time could really be a crack on our relationship. Not on my side, because I don't really mind; I love her anyway. So I decided to use my diplomatic skills to see if I can get a compromise, but even if not I'd accept it. And it passed as said above; I get to go back to Holland on the 16th, but after that it's YWC all the way. Yes m'am! So I saved myself out of my own shit once again, but I went with caution. This is the way.

Besides, ever since I finished high school I've started studies without finishing them. I feel that I need to finish this, and when I do, then I'll feel good and I'll be able to start the next chapter with full enthousiasm. And I already know what that will be, but until that time I'll be completely focused on this. I remember Rajshree saying that we get strength from following through on our commitments, I even remember some of my own lyrics saying "if you don't go all the way it aint worth it", and that's a righteous truth right there.

My perception and judgment crystal clear from the Frischkase, as Camille said. And yes my French friend; it's definitely a good decision. Socratez is gonna rock your world!

Fix the Misery

I just saw the worst movie ever. Worst as in that it gave me the worst feeling I've ever felt while watching a movie. It's pretty well done, but it was full of misery. In the beginning there's actually a point that it seems to be nice, but then it drops, and it drops hard, and it keeps on dropping. It drops so deep, that at a certain moment you fail to see any chance for redemption; I suppose hope dies last.

I also saw other interesting things today; a presentation about the Venus Project, now that shit is interesting. I had already seen Zeitgeist: Addendum, but I didn't see this presentation. You can see it here, but I would suggest you see Zeitgeist first. Simply because a lot of things may be very shocking if you're not familiar with the background of the monetary system. But if you got a strong stomach and open mind, I suppose it's worth watching.

In the end it's about consciousness, that's probably why Requiem for a Dream was so intense for me. The worst thing is that it's probably not that fictional. So what's your fix?

Rocking with Attitude

If the wall hadn't fallen in '89, it definitely would've fallen now. Ladies and gentlemen, we're rocking Berlin! It's only been 2 days since me and Konstantinos abandoned fundraising and started focusing on the course, but it feels like much longer. Like I argued in my last post, I believe that we're here to give people courses, not to raise money. While Plakor and Camille are fundraising, me and Kostas are visiting the universities.

So why are we rocking Berlin? Well, it just feels good. It's not that we have 30 registrations, but we're making all the right connections at the moment, which will pay off for sure. But what is so interesting about all this, is that it's taking no effort at all! Everything we did in the last 2 days just seemed to happen to us by accident. Of course there is no such thing as a coincidence, but I'm just emphasizing how easy everything went.

And with everything I really do mean everything. From the first moment we set foot inside the university we were guided from one place to another. Every person we talked to had some function to fulfill. The big difference with what we usually do, is that we usually go there trying to hand out as many flyers as possible and doing as many introtalks as possible, preferably to as many people as possible. In short; we're trying to reach as many people as possible, but in the proces we forget to actually connect to them.

How to connect? Simple; be genuinely interested in people and what they're doing. We actually went to this anti-racism class the other day in which the participants were discussing how they could stop the upcoming facist march which will take place in Dresden somewhere in februari. Of course my name wouldn't be Steven, if I wouldn't speak my opinion about what they're trying to do. It is unimportant for the point I'm making right now, but for the sake of the possibility that you might actually learn something from it, I will still shortly explain my views on anti-demonstration demonstrations.

To demonstrate against demonstrators; sounds a bit strange doesn't it. I would say, first off, I sincerely believe that everyone should have the right to be wrong. I'm not saying racism is wrong because I don't like to judge, I would say it's a state of consciousness, and a quite superficial one, but out of principle I wouldn't say it's wrong. But that's just me; I bet there's plenty of people who would say it's wrong, and that's fine too, but let others then have the right to be wrong! I asked them the difference between intolerance towards skin colour or sexuality, or intolerance against an idea; it's the same fucking thing. People then argued that this is different, because facism is a movement of which people become victims each year. True, but would an anti-movement not be the same thing? And would this movement not end up being violent? Of course it would; it's very naive to think that you would be any different from them, if you go down the same path.

I continued with telling them that if they want to show them to be tolerant, they should be tolerant themselves. And if they want them to be loving, then be loving yourself; be the change you want to see in the world, signed Gandhi, one of the biggest revolutionaries of all time. Anyone can go down the simple short-sighted path of intolerance and violence, but that's never going to solve anything. If you think you're a smart intellectual, then act like one; you know better than what you're doing.

People were shocked by my criticism, and they definitely did not agree, but I do think it shook them a little bit which is good; it makes people think and reflect. If you want to help people, you need to be ready to criticize; not being the nice guy who's afraid that you might hurt someone's feelings. No, you do what needs to be done. This is what is essentially means to be a tool of the divine. Now I'm not saying I perceive myself as such, although I do wish to fulfill that role one day, but during these 2 days I definitely felt a big force working around us. We're definitely not alone; we get support from all sides.

When the day is over and we leave the university, we feel really uplifted; not tired at all. The key to success is attitude. Rememeber it; attitude.

The Money Machine

Fundraising is a curious subject of discussion.
I'm talking about NGO's getting money from third parties in order to finance their projects. These projects often involve third world countries, or whatever we call them today or tomorrow; to help those people, so they get food and water, or shelter. Now don't get me wrong, I think it's a very just and noble cause to help those in need, but there are some things that are not adding up.

First of all, let's just simply look at the results; they're minimal. What did we ever change in the under developed countries? Sure we built some homes, sure we gave people food and water, but did poverty decrease ever since we started our welfare projects? They didn't. I'm definitely not doubting our projects, but what I am doubting is the system that we're living in.

Capitalism in its current form will always make the wealthy wealthier, and the poor poorer. So out of all the wealth that we suck out of those countries, our corporations give back a little bit to charity to clean their conscience. The dirty businessmen get filthy rich in the mean time. So why would we be doing this? It's like wiping the floor while the sink is still running, or however you say that in English. What I'm saying is; the work we do isn't really solving anything. In fact, we're actually supporting the system that's making this happen. I could even say that the fact that there are NGO's is an inevitable side product of an unfair economy.

Now you might not agree on those last few things, but I don't fucking care. Fact is that poverty has only increased in the last, let's say 30 years. Our policies never brought any peace, instead they brought war. Our invented money machine is ruling the world, and it has enslaved us as well. So why are we fundraising? Because we're told to do so. The only solution I see to the world's problems, is to radically change the system, to create a new world. And I think spirituality is vital if people want to be able to adapt to something new, because it's the fear of death that makes them cling to our invented reality. Fear that they wouldn't be able to survive without it.

This is where spirituality comes in. With love, there can be no fear. Love and fear are in fact the same energy, but manifest in different ways. It's about elevating to the next level, so we can elevate society as a whole. So in order to fix this world, we have to fix society, and this doesn't happen with fundraising, but by showing people who they really are.

The only good thing that I can say about fundraising is that it's a good personal training; making the right connections, networking so to say. Other than that, fuck it, but I'm stuck with it for now anyway. Hopefully in Hamburg things will be different, but even if they aren't, I'll be home before I know it, and then I'll start a new chapter of my life.

Renaissance

It's saturday night, last night of Berlin. Last night with Iva, for now. So what am I gonna do? Enjoy it! We gon' clubbing and have us a good time. It's the only way. It's a funny feeling cause it doesn't feel like the last night at all. It feels like it's gonna last forever, like a cool tune in the club bouncing off the walls forming a perpetual sound. Vibes are strong, roots are deep and are only getting deeper. Good circumstances for any tree to grow tall.

Love me being cryptic? You're welcome. It's my duty as a poetry writer to translate my experiences in words. How do you do that? How to explain the seemingly unexplainable, and even if I explain will you get it? If you know what I'm talking about, it won't be so hard to see through the metaphors, but what if you don't. I wouldn't be able to get the taste of Chunky Chat Masala even if you wrote a book about it without having tasted it. When people ask me what it tastes like, I reply it tastes like eggs in the morning. Nobody gets this, and it don't surprise me.

So how are we going to open the eyes of people when there's nothing to show but text and speeches. Who's gonna listen to that, who's gonna feel inspired by that? Martin Luther had a dream and people felt it, that's why people listened. It's not because of the words that he used, no way. No dear, they listened because he was the manifestation of the belief in that dream. The flesh that people could grasp, could look at, made it easier for them to believe.

What does that mean? That we are not the doers. Martin wasn't the doer, he was just the link that people needed to bind themselves to something bigger than life. This is what makes a great leader; someone who stands for something, and who can inspire others to take a stand themselves. This is the mission, this is being an icon, this is what my life will be all about. Sharing the message, sharing myself.

Socratez is reborn.

The Return of the King

Man I'm so tired. You don't wanna know. Especially cause I got sick in Syria because of the food, or the water, or whatever it was. As much as I love the food in Syria, you have to be careful with what you eat, and especially drink.
I experienced no problems during the first few days, but in Damascus it struck me. I got ill from a UNFO (unidentified non-flying object). It could have been some nuts we bought on the market, or the food we had at a restaurant, or contaminated water. You see, in Syria there are places where people fill their so called spring water bottles with tap water and pretend that they’re genuine. This even happens in some restaurants. So you always have to either check if the bottle has not been opened before, or you drink water that has been boiled; tea is always good.

So I've been traveling on a bad stomach for a while; it's been a pain in the ass. Or should I say stomach? Anyway, we had to hurry our asses all the way back to Turkey in order to make the flight that we took today very early in the morning to Munich. When we arrived in the country of the wealthy and unhappy people, we started hitching our way to Berlin. We got there after 6 hours. It's been a nice ride; even though my stomach is still giving me trouble, I have a certain hope that it should be ok in the next days. Besides, I really want to eat my beloved German bread again!

Anyway, to keep it short; the king is back. Who's your daddy bitchez.

Baby on Auto-Tuner

So we took a cab to his house, met his family, and had great food. Syria is a great place for a vegetarian; lots of salads, lots of fruit. Especially on the streets there are many juice bars where you can buy fresh juices for little money. Later on we went with him to a café where we smoked some fruit tobacco in the water pipe, and had some drinks. However I did notice that he took a special interest in Iva; these people are too obvious.

This was a trend I also noticed in Latakia when we were with Faisal and his family. Now let me tell you something. Syria is a great country, but you have to watch your back, and more importantly yours girlfriend’s. When you’re careful, you’ll experience all the good things, but you just gotta know how the game is played here. I remember when we went to the Ruins of Ugarit, an ancient city near Latakia, we met a family from the UK there. Their son had been working in Saudi Arabia for a while and he spook pretty fluent Arabic, he talked to Faisal and asked if he could have a word with me.
The ride to Aleppo was smooth. We had a good lunch while on the road, because we bought these croissant kinds of things filled with nuts and honey; very good. It took us about 3 hours to get to Aleppo, and we weren’t even there for 2 minutes and we already got another taste of Syrian hospitality. A guy offered us to have tea as his house, he was about my age and he told me he worked for the police.

Oh, and one more thing about the bus ride. There was this TV with Arab music on it, but at one point you could hear a baby crying on auto-tuner! Maybe you can already imagine, but I promise that if you want to hear something really funny, get a recording of a crying baby and put it on auto-tune. Works the laughing muscles guaranteed!


Then he told me that in Syria the people are indeed very nice, but you have to take into account that there can be a hidden intention. It’s definitely true that there are people in Syria who will be happy to help you unconditionally, but he said that some people will be after your money, or other things. Now the people I’ve been staying with had plenty of money, but also plenty of sexual desires. One time I left Iva alone in Faisal’s house for about half an hour; I thought I’d be back sooner, but it was out of my control. His friend took me to a woman to see if she had accidently taken some of my clothes that I lost, and he told me we’d be right back.

Wrong. They started chatting and it took about half an hour to get back. During this time, I suddenly started to get a bad feeling. I wanted to get back to the house. Some part of me thought I was just being paranoid, that I shouldn’t be so cautious of these wonderful people, but my bad feeling turned out to be accurate. When I came back to the house, everything looked normal; Iva acted normal, so I figured I was just being paranoid. However, later on she told me Faisal was actually trying to make advances on her. I was furious; while I was going home I could already see myself kicking in the door and beating the crap out of him if I would expect anything like that. Iva probably knew this and that’s why she didn’t tell me until we left Latakia.

I really don’t care if it’s the president himself; nobody touches my girl. And they’ll know I’m serious cause I’ll teach them a lesson they won’t ever forget. I’ll make such a hard example that the whole country will know never to mess with a dutch guy’s girlfriend. It’s disgusting, disrespectful, and barbaric. Anyway, enough bad things about Syria, it is still a beautiful place to be, but like I said, you just gotta know how to play the game. Don’t ever leave your girl alone for too long in these countries. And I wouldn’t advice going on holiday into these countries alone as a woman, unless you’re like complete alpha female with kung fu skills.

I suppose there’s something good and bad to be said about pretty much any place on earth. I would say to appreciate the good, and avoid the bad. And even if it strikes you, don’t let it make you forget about the beauty that is always surrounding you.

Bonnie & Clyde in the Middle East

Hey dear friends and family.
I had some downtime while I was in Syria, because we didn't have internet so often, and this site was actually blocked. In Syria I can't write or read my own blog! Also facebook and youtube are blocked from puclic acces. A bit of a totalitarian state indeed, when you see pictures of the president on pretty much every corner. But hey, Syria is not so scary, cause the people are really nice.

However, I did write some words down while I was there, so I'll make it a Syria report in 2 parts. I had both good and bad experiences, but overal I must say it was a very nice holiday!

And so we got to Istanbul on Friday the 6th. I tell you that town is huge. Like HUGE! There’s about 15 million people living there including the suburbs. Can you imagine the whole of the Netherlands stacked into one big city? We met with Cigdem, who invited us into her house and offered us to stay for a few days. It was good to have her as a guide because it’s quite easy to get lost in this metropol. Add to that the enormous traffic jams that are far from occasional, and you can spend hours on finding your way to whatever destination.

That’s the only thing I didn’t like about Istanbul; the public transportation is really not sufficient for a city of that size. There are no metros for one, so the public transport is pretty much limited to busses and trams. And because of the traffic jams it’s not always a good idea to travel by bus or take a cab. Often you’re even better off walking! But the people are really nice and warm hearted, the food is great, especially borek and baklava. I don’t get how people can eat all those sweets and not get fat, but somehow they manage.

So after a few days of Istanbul, we decided it was time to move on to a new place. After all, Iva wanted to see Lebanon and get tanned on the coast. It’s a bit unfortunate that we don’t have more time than we do, because you’d need at least a month to travel around and see places while not having the feeling of racing against the clock. My philosophy is to make a simple plan, not too detailed, and stay open to new ideas and suggestions. Stay in the places that appeal to you, leave the ones that don’t.

We took a train to Adana, quite a big city on the east side of Turkey. We only stayed there for one night, because it was too late to go on to Antakya. I didn’t really like Adana; it had no charm, no flair. I was happy to be on the way to Antakya. When we got there, we got jumped by numerous cab drivers who all wanted to take us somewhere. We decided to go with a guy who spoke understandable English who was going to drive us to Latakia in Syria. Our initial plan was to go to Aleppo, but Latakia seemed like a nice place to see, it being on the coast and all.

When we crossed the Syrian border we had to wait for a while before we got in, the visa was quite expensive (67 dollars together), but it was totally worth it. Because Syria is actually a really nice country, contradictory to the American propaganda. I couldn’t believe the warm heartedness and hospitality with which we were welcomed; the guy who drove us to Latakia bought us dinner at a restaurant at the side of a big lake (even though we couldn’t see much of it in the dark), and later on when we went onwards toward the city we met some of his friends in customs who gave us some tea. One of the officers actually offered us to stay in his house that night, and to buy us lunch the next day.

We never asked for anything, but it just happened. Such is the kindness of the Syrian people. It was a positive culture shock so to say. I couldn’t make this shit up. I kept wondering: Are these guys for real? And they are. We stayed at his house, and today he brought us to a nice restaurant looking over the Mediterranean Sea where we had a great lunch. The Syrian food is cheap, and damn good. Also it is much healthier than the Turkish food, offering a big variety in vegetables, nuts, and many delicates. I had one of the best fish ever, fresh from the sea!

Later that same day Faisal offered us to come and visit him in his other house (he has 6) where he lives with his wife. Apparently, once you’re married, you need to have your own house and can’t live together with your parents; that’s why he has so many houses, because he has many kids; 3 boys, 2 girls. It was an amazing experience; we met all his children, the oldest being about 26, and the youngest 15. His oldest also brought his wife and baby, a very cute little girl.

One of the guys offered me to take me around the neighborhood on his motor bike. That was really cool! He sounded the horn at pretty much every shop we passed; he knew everyone. Later after we got back we would all go (the men that is) to the local café, and we had tea and water pipes. Imagine that you’re with people that you barely know, and you barely understand each other, and yet you have such a deep sense of belonginess to another. We talked for about 2 hours, had a lot of fun, and then went back to the house.

During our whole stay in Syria, me and Iva pretended to be married. I think this makes our lives here a lot easier, since it’s simply not accepted by everyone to have such a thing as a girlfriend. No sex before marriage kind of thing. Don’t be fooled; of course the single Syrian girls have boyfriends, and of course the single Syrian guys have girlfriends, but this all happens in secrecy. Even though I haven’t seen most of the world, I realize that people are still people where ever you go. We all have the same impulses and desires; just because society has different values doesn’t mean that the game changes; just that the rules of engagement are slightly different.

Of course I don’t believe in no sex before marriage, but that doesn’t mean I have to be a prophet about it and tell people how ignorant they are, and how civilized we are back in the West. Bullshit, we don’t know anything about the things that make Syria such a beautiful country. It is us who are ignorant, mainly because we think we know everything. Arrogant fools, who wouldn’t burn our flags here?

Yes my friends, Syria is a great country. It’s a shame that with my Syrian visa, I will not be able to visit Israel, because that is also definitely a nice place to see. I believe that the Middle East is one of the most hospitable places on earth, and we in the West could learn a lot from the kindness with which they greet foreigners. We can learn a lot from each other. But you can’t give someone a pizza who didn’t ask for it; it’s up to them to order it. What I’m saying is that we can’t go judging other people based on our values. If we want to do something good to the world, we could start by taking responsibility for ourselves first and learn from others the values that we seem to have forgotten.

And it is up to them to change their views about marriage, women, gay sexuality and whatever else we think we have a more sophisticated opinion on. You can’t start a war to bring democracy, shove it down their throats and expect them to accept it. It’s disrespectful and creates a lot of bad blood. Of course the well informed amongst us know that there was never a war for democracy; our political leaders don’t fight for ideas, but money and power.

Talking about money, the dollar will collapse sooner or later; probably more soon than later. Better invest your money in something that doesn’t lose its value, or spend it on traveling; seeing the world is always a life richening experience. But more about the dollar some other time, else this post will just get too long.

As I’m typing this, I’m on the way to Aleppo together with my wife, Iva. I rather like the idea of being married to this lovely girl actually. At least it aint too hard to pretend! Having a good marriage, kids, and having a warm heart for everyone around you, are values that really appeal to me. You can learn something new anywhere you go; never ever think that you know it all, for you are the biggest fool walking on the face of the earth.

Birthday in the Balkans

Hello kids. I'm back again with some news!
A lot has happened since my last post. So it's inevitable that I will forget something. So why not start with an announcement: I forgot my phone recharger in Leipzig. This means a few things. One is that I'm not in Leipzig anymore, second is that you can't reach me on the phone. Just FYI. I will get it back of course, but I'll be without my phone for a month or so.

So why am I not in Leipzig anymore? Because I left! I left on thursday the 29th, to go to Croatia to be exact. Man what a trip; ups and downs. On the wednesday evening before that we had quite a success with our introduction workshop. I felt good and I felt ok with leaving so I could see Iva on my birthday. It was not so easy to get out of Leipzig. Originally I had planned to take a ride with mitfahrgelegenheit (if you don't know this site you had better bookmark it, MUST-HAVE for any traveller!) just to get onto the highway, from which point I would hitch my way to Zagreb.

However things did not go that way; Alex told me that I could take a bus that would take me close to the highway from which point I should be able to get a ride. But I couldn't find any rides going there, and I felt completely stupid standing along the road with my cardboard sign waiting for someone to stop. It just didn't feel right; if it was gonna be easy to get a ride it would've already happened by now. I ended up being at that particular place for 2 hours, which highly pissed me off. I got up at 6 am just to make sure to make it in one day. The worst thing that could happen to me was stuff like this. At the same time I was calling my friend Cezar to see if he could arrange for any rides on the internet, but no luck.

Then I decided to go back to the main station, see how much a train ride to Zagreb costs. Now I know that Germany aint the cheapest place for train travel, but 258 euros + 30 for a sleeping compartment?! No fucking way. Frustrated I went back home, with all my luggage, and went on the internet to look for a ride. On the way home something must have happened. I swear I could've breathed fire if such a thing was possible, that's how angry I was. I kept saying that no matter what I would leave this city. The first guy I called when I came home was a positive hit. I didn't have much time to get to the rendezvous point, so I left immediately. From this point on, everything went smooth.

I left Leipzig at around 3 pm. It was hard to believe that I would make it to Zagreb that same day, but I said to myself I wanted to be there at midnight. I had learned from setting goals; it really does work. And it worked again because I actually arrived at 1 am. Quite a good job if I say so myself! I got a ride near Munich from a very kind Austrian guy. I always had a prejudice against Austrians, but no more. Then somewhere near Salzburg I took a ride with some Serbians who were passing Zagreb; fucking jackpot! Iva had a car, coincidently, and could pick me up at the place where they dropped me, right outside of town. I always say everything happens for a reason.

So birthday in the Balkans for me! First time in Eastern Europe. I met some of Iva's friends, who were really nice. And her family is also really nice. We stayed at her mom's place for a couple of days, and then went to take a train to Istanbul. This was like 2 days ago. As cold as Croatia and Serbia were, as warm it was today in Istanbul; I love this place! Kind people, best borek you've ever had, and beautiful sights. The train ride was cheap and pretty comfortable, and we managed to get ourselves a place to stay here in Turkey with Cigdem, a friend of ours that we met on CLP.

We'll be staying here for some days for sure, the weather forecast says the temperature will start dropping next wednesday, so that might be a good point to leave and move on. We still don't know where we will go next, just that Izmir will have to be the end destination in Turkey because we'll take a flight from there on the 23th. We were thinking of Syria and Libanon, or just to cruise around the Turkish coast. Maybe even pay Egypt a visit. I suppose it will depend a lot on the possibilities available for traveling. Hitching this time of year is not so nice, so we'd be looking for cheap bus and train rides. What is for sure, is that it'll be fun, and that we'll be enjoying Istanbul the coming days.

It's been really good to see Iva again, the love is burning, and I've gotten better at this relationship thing. Isaac was really happy to see me as well, because Iva got obsessed with her kitten. Even though this troublesome creature is only busy attacking your feet as you walk around the place. She don't know when play time is over. But then again, neither do I; we're all innocent in our own way.

Birthday boy turned 22. Feel like a real man now! Got a book about Tantra, deep shit man. Not just about sex, but more about care, respect, and intimacy. Masculinity got a new dimension. Sexual Empowerment Seminars, wouldn't those be in high demand? Sri Sri I need to talk to you... ;)

PS. Hi from Cigdem!

Static Charge

I will be straight forward; so far I completely dislike my decision of staying here. It's not unexpected. After all, this is one of those decisions that only give pleasure at the end. I'm a hedonistic person usually; I seek for balance between short term pleasure and long term pleasure. But most of my decisions will always have some degree of short term pleasure. This one doesn't.

It was quite a disappointment to post phone the course. After all we put quite some effort in the last week, but there were no results. What went wrong? It's our team spirit which is the problem. We just don't sync. I really did my best to blend in, but it doesn't get me anywhere; it doesn't inspire me at all, and it only makes me feel weaker. So what did I do? I decided to start doing things my own way, but now the team spirit is completely lost. He doesn't even feel comfortable with me anymore.

So then, don't feel comfortable. Pussies don't get pussy, excuse my language. I'm tired of this weakness; I find it really repulsive. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a man not being a man. Don't get me wrong, I have my weak moments too, but when I do, the drill sergeant alter ego comes up in me and tells me to shut up and get on my feet. That's how we roll.

I remember one time in the dojo, there was this new kid doing a try-out lesson so to say. He looked like a girl and probably weighed even less. Then me and my friend were assigned to do some drills with him. I swear, I've never been so careful with someone; I was worried I'd break him in two if I hit him. I have that same feeling with Cezar. But it makes me wonder, maybe I'm just being weak for being afraid to break him. Maybe I should be merciless and just unleash and leave him no choice but to deal with it.

One of the grand masters of ninjutsu used to be a cry baby as a boy. His father sent him to his uncle, who was a fighter. His uncle gave him a hard time, but in the end he was cured of his mental disease so to say, and he became one of the most badass warriors that ever walked the earth. Now I don't see Cezar becoming a Takamatsu, but it's the only way to get tough.

We can teach each other a lot; that's how things work. Teaching never goes one way, it always goes both ways, and both parties benefit just as much. So I'll continue doing my thing, and embrace the moment in which the heavens will break open and thunder strikes the earth without mercy. Let me be that instrument. Give me that opportunity and I will gladly take it. Amen.

From Success to Success

What's the best way to move in life? From success to success. It's one of the learning points of the Yes+ course. It is because many people start something without ending it, and then start another thing; it's moving from failure to failure. The way to grow in life is to finish the things you started; moving from success to success. Of course, being an aspirant teacher it is of most importance to me that I live this knowledge. I should be a beacon of light.

This path is not an easy one; it's a path of taking responsibility for not only myself but also for others. Today I was faced with a really hard decision. As you know I was sick for a while, and the preparations for the course were not looking good. The last few days we've been working hard on getting people, but without result. Today this result was shown to us, and we realized there would be no course tomorrow.

So what to do? We decided to post phone the course to thursday the 12th of november. Since there are already some people interested, it would be good to keep the energy up and give it our best in the next 3 weeks to make it happen. Now while I was typing this, something amazing happened. But first, let me start at the beginning.

For a while, me and Iva have been planning our honeymoon; our little trip to Turkey. It was my wish to see her again around my birthday, and to be honest, the thought of seeing her again was going through my mind more than occasionally. I was really looking forward to seeing her; there's not a thing I wanted more. And then today I realize the course isn't happening. I realize if I leave, I would be leaving behind a failure, and would leave the organizing to Cezar alone for the coming 3 weeks. I can't do that, I have to stay.

So I wrote Iva a mail, telling her to cancel the flights that she's been booking. Then I went to Cezar and informed him of the new course dates and that I was going to stay. He was so happy! And then 5 minutes later, as I was writing this, he came in and told me how he was praying just before I came into his room, about how he was gonna make it all work out. And then I entered the room; I suppose God works in mysterious ways. He gave me his picture of Guruji and told me to keep it.

So 3 weeks from now, our course will start. We will make sure we have enough people, more than enough. And then I will be able to find my way to my beloved lady with a clear mind and a clean conscience. Moving from success to success.

Post phoning my trip to Zagreb was a decision that struck my heart, but it's important that we make decisions with our head. A good leader doesn't mix head with heart. After all, it's just a small sacrifice for the greater good. I mean what is 3 weeks of time really? I'll get over it. Already am.

Juicy Livin'

I feel I'm starting to get better again. I'm not there yet, but after the weekend I should be fully operational. The last few days I've been living on a diet of orange juice, prescribed by my caring little lady. Let the juice flow through the veins! More important is not to eat; it's just that juices don't need to be digested so you can give your body the nutrition it needs, without having to activate the digestive system.

I always used to think you have to eat, especially when you're sick, but it's not like this. The higher the fire in our stomach, the higher our immune system. If you surpress it by eating too much, your defenses weaken and you might get ill. So it's important to not surpress it when you're sick! That's why you don't have much of an appetite when you're ill. The body already knows what to do, do you?

Juicy livin'. I love juice. It's light and full, sweet and sour, and it comes every colour. I need to get myself a portable juicer or blender, so I can make juice out of anything! Fruits, veggies, some nuts, don't forget a pube or two. It's that little extra; you're worth it!

For sure that if this was a widely known blog, some stupid American would actually try that. It's funny that when I think of stupid people I always think of men. When I picture something like that happening in my head it will never be a woman! So are women smarter than men, or would I like to believe there are no such stupid women around cause it's unattractive?

I think women are stupid and men clueless. Mix it together, make it a juice. Clueless stupidity? Jim Carrey is good at playing that. I saw Dumb and Dumber the other day; I was cracking up so much I almost drowned in my tears of joy. Most comedies I don't find so funny, but with Jim Carrey I always enjoy. His talent to make himself look ridiculous wins it for me. Thing is, you need to be completely unemberassed for this to be possible. You can't give 100% in making yourself look ridiculous when you feel emberassed, and it's this unemberassing 100% that makes it so epic!

If you can pull those stunts on hot women, then your game is on! Just remember to keep it juicy, like you should keep everything juicy. Juicy Livin' - Full of Juice.

Still Sick

I'm still sick, even though it has got a bit less. The day before yesterday was definitely the worst; I couldn't sleep cause of my tonsils. They're still huge, but at least my head doesn't feel like it can explode any second. But the most annoying thing is that my nose is completely blocked; I can't breathe properly, and this would make the healing process much faster.

I was thinking that if my tonsils would get even bigger, i'd have no choice but to have them removed, but luckily this is not the case. Besides, the thought that the doctor could inject me against swine flu makes me wanna stay away.

Yesterday I took a hot bath and I must say that was amazing! It's been a while since I took a bath, so I had almost forgotten how good it was. Afterwards I went to bed and I was just steaming under the blankets. When I woke up I already felt a lot better.

Anyway, as uncomfortable as it is to be sick, it is also really inconvenient at this point. The course is supposed to start in 1 week, but I really can't go outside in this condition. I think it will take 2 more days before I can go out, and then we only have a few more days to get all those participants. So it's not really looking good, although there is always room for miracles like the one we had in Dresden. I suppose time will tell.

Peaceful Warrior

It's official; I'm sick.
My tonsils are huge, got a bad cough and am bit feverish.
After seeing the episode of southpark where cartman gets his tonsils removed I never wanna have it come to that! But really, I believe there's a reason they're there so that's why they should stay. Anyway, I got some good medicine here, so I should be able to get back to rocking the world soon enough. Ayurvedic baby, fuck the chems.

Yesterday I watched Gladiator again, I think I've seen it like 4 times now, and everytime I watch it gives me the chills up my spine again. Last time I saw it was quite some time ago, and this time the experience was more intense than ever before.
Being more connected to myself nowadays, I can imagine that I'm more sensitive to things that resonate with a forgotten part of me. I believe we're more than just our bodies; all that we are in the physical world is just an expression of our true selves: Consciousness. That's why people who meditate have stronger brain waves, which is just an indicator of that which lies beneath.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that even though I was already pretty sure that I've been in the military in a past life, the feeling only grows stronger. Especially in the opening scene I felt a rush I've never felt so strong before. It's ironic that even though I'm so against war on a rational level, I cannot help but to be fascinated by it at the same time. I would really like to do my eternity process; finding out about my past lives to get a better insight into myself.

The warrior's path is what I want to walk, but I'll fight against ignorance. All I want in life is a warrior's death; giving my life for something good. It will be worth it.

Words of Wisdom

Nice shit going on in Dresden. I went on friday to see Guruji's speech at the Hilton, and it was really amazing. Every time he speaks, he manages to answer the unasked questions. I was quite a bit disturbed lately by different things, small things. I was really wondering why I got shaken up so easily, cause that's so not me. And then there he starts talking about how everything changes, and that in order to perceive change we have to have something that does not change. This thing is what spirituality is; that what does not change.

Like being in a plane. You sit relaxed in your chair, but imagine that the chair itself moves as well! It would be quite a chaotic flight. So we need something that's grounded in order to be able to move properly, and the way to feel this thing that does not change, is to just relax. Simple words, yet every time I hear it, it gets a deeper meaning. Wisdom is beautiful and simple.

So that was yesterday, today we went to this world culture forum where Guruji was handed the world culture award. Because he's been having such big successes in bringing people of different religious, cultural, and political groups together. It's important to have this sense of belonginess if you want to live a rich life; why would you only love your friends and family when you can experience a so much deeper and less superficial love for everyone? This man is great, I tell you, once again!

With the upcoming chapter of destruction in the world, there will be a lot of opportunity for change. Destruction or transformation, however you want to call it, is not a bad thing. In fact, I believe everything eventually happens for good; so the mass murders that will happen within 10 years would be no exception. I suppose that all the chaos that comes along with it will provide endless opportunities to reshape the world, creating a society which is based on human values instead of profit.

So today I came back from Dresden, I feel I'm starting to get a little bit sick. We have a lot of work to do here, because time is ticking fast, and we still need to get ourselves 40 participants for the basic course that will start in 2 weeks. Not an easy task, but definitely possible; I have plenty of ideas to implement in order to speed things up a bit.

Most of all, I'm very happy that I decided to go to Dresden when I did, to help the other guys with their Yes!+ course. It was really amazing how the atmosphere changed so rapidly; I remember arriving there when the energy was so low, there was very little enthousiasm and pretty much no faith. It was awesome how in a few days this mood changed completely, and finally the course actually happened.

It is important to realize that you're never walking alone, there will always be people there for you when you need them. And if not, then the Divine will take care. Anyhow you'll be fine, so don't be afraid to fail. Just know, that nobody likes to help lazy people. When you give 100%, for sure you will be able to find support! You're not alone.

FUBAR

FUBAR.
Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.
A popular phrase from the movie Saving Private Ryan. Why do I start off with something like this? Well, to give my message maximum effect I will keep it crisp and clear.

Remember I talked about swine flu? That it was in fact a man made virus, and that the vaccinations which will be forced onto us are the real poison? For details, check the link that I put in that post (http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=14475).
Now, some people may think that I was just being weird and talking crazy, but the time has come that will justify my warning back then. In America, preparations for mass vaccinations are going at full speed. Think about microchips implented in your body, which contain all sorts of information, think about martial law; think about road blocks, check points.

Yes this is it people, it's judgement day. The fate of many people will be decided in the coming years, most of us will die. I don't want to sound dramatic, but it's simply the truth. How this could happen in our utopia? Well, there never was an utopia to begin with. Humanity has been enslaved for centuries, but we've just been living in a matrix. Ironically movies can be close to the truth. The fact that we'd have to imagine such a truth proves the effectivity of the dream world that has been shapen around us.

Anyway, I feel I'm making this too long. To all you 'I'll-believe-it-when-I-see-it' people out there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl8za3dBSZk. Watch it now, and show it to others. Everyone should know what is happening in America, because it will definately happen here as well. Unless we do something. Are you prepared? I doubt it, but I will tell you what I will do.

First of all, I have the utmost faith in my well being. There is nothing out there that can touch me. Besides, I got far too much work to do in this world for me to be allowed to die young.
Secondly, I do not fear. I will lead myself, I will not let fear lead me. Fear is a lying voice in your head that can only bring you misery. When you give in to fear, you're selling your soul to the devil.

I would've made a great priest in the medievals no doubt, but know that my poetic language has nothing to do with religion. This is real fucked up shit going on. Of course, if you take your vaccination as a good citizen you will not be harmed, but would you ever harm a slave who's putting on his own cuffs? I can tell you there will be detention camps for people who disobey the law, and I don't want to imagine what will go on inside there.

Anyway, I'm fighting the Good Fight against the fearful. With a gattling gun full of love, I got endless ammunition, and I will pump you full of it until all the fear and hatred inside you has died. I take no prisoners, and heck even if I fall I'll make sure that there will be a thousand peaceful warriors who will inspire thousands more. This is the fucking 300 against the vast and ignorant army of slaves, driven by their fears of the lash.

That we'll win is inevitable, but I might have to reincarnate a few times before I put the last motherfucker out of his misery. The night is darkest before the dawn, the world will be more than ever before FUBAR, but there's a bright future ahead.

Dresden Reloaded

Back in the city of... what is Dresden famous for? Right, back to the city of allied war crimes. In a few days Sri Sri will arrive here to have a speech and receive some cultural kind of award. I don't know man, there's so many awards out there; who cares. The man himself probably doesn't; he's there for the people.

Marcus and Konstantinos of YWC were in Dresden to organize Yes!+, but so far there were not so many sign ups. Time for me to lend a hand! Today we went to the university, classes haven't really started yet, but there was a class for high school graduates to stuff them with some extra algebra before they start the real work. I went there completely unprepared which did not leave us much for a result, but at least it was a decent intro talk. I didn't have any proper papers to have people sign up, so it was just a talk.

But it was good! I'm starting to get the hang of this stuff. I introduced myself, said that I came from Amsterdam and asked if anyone went there during summer. Someone raised her hand "so was it good?", she replied "yes!", so I went "ofcourse!". Laughter, ice broken. Simple. A kid can do the laundry. It doesn't matter whether you talk to one person or 200; it's all the same. You just gotta be natural. No need to be nervous, nobody in the public has the balls to stand up against you anyway. Speak clearly, don't be afraid to pause, don't feel rushed, make eye contact. You can even check out the audience before you start talking. However I had 3 minutes so I didn't do that.

Balls make the world go 'round. I heard today about this guy who was telling everyone that he was gonna perform a concert because he could play 40 instruments. A lot of people had come, and then he started playing, but he didn't really have much of a clue; he was just jamming a bit and not really making any music! People were saying "oh my god this is horrible", but the lesson was that you should have a certain innocence in everything you do. This guy just didn't give a shit about what other people would think; he was just there to enjoy himself! Self amusement, but not as a means, more as a goal. I think it's very important that you can enjoy yourself.

I also think this innocence is very important, why not be like a child? Why not explore the possibilities instead of staying on the road that you walked so many times before. The road that leads to the same result, making no change in your life. Be ready to lose, for you do not have anything anyway. Life is about losing, it's about losing your fears, hate, anger, and insecurity. When you have lost all that is possible to lose, then you are left with only yourself. Even our body is not ours, we just borrowed it. You're not your body, you're not your feelings, you're not your thoughts. You're only one thing, and that's the sunshine of your life.

Magnificent

Swimming in women, champagne sippin'. Gold emblem with two M's in it. This living is so magnificent, stop dreaming it, I'm living it. Sung by John Legend featuring in Rick Ross' Magnificent. Yes this sounds like something for me, except for the champagne. At times I get tired of relationships, all that shit. Why would I settle for that? I can share my love with the world instead, any woman who has me for herself can be considered fortunate. I want some peace, if I don't have anything I can't lose anything. So please, strip me of everything, so all I have left is that which is really me. And that will be all I have to offer to the world. It will be enough.

And from that point I'll build my empire, the tallest trees have the deepest roots. I'll turn myself into a show off having a gold emblem with two M's in it; haters can't tell me nothing. Talk to the hand, which has more bling than all your past lifes together. I'll be such an asshole that people will not take the trouble to get to my richez. The only people who'll know me are those who are determined to find the soft warm hearted guy inside. And they will, cause I am; the self is always coming through.

Maybe I won't be able to act like a jerk, but I'll give it my best shot. I'll start with the music, Scumbach Music to be exact. So will it be worth it? Will it pay to be single? Cause I don't like to be in demand as a person. I just want to lead people to the other side, but I'm not the doer, no sir. I don't do anything significant in this universe, I'm just a spectator; enjoying the show. I don't care what it takes to get people to join the boat. Once they see what I see they will stop looking at me anyway. No more relationships then? I don't know man, often it's actually the guys who are taken that are in demand. Single guys must be assholes; nobody can put up with them. I want to be an asshole, but I'm just too sweet.

Bitches rather have sweet dicks than assholes. Sweet girls want dicks, so my girl can't be sweet. Or maybe I am a dick and just under the impression that I'm sweet. Or maybe my girl is a bitch. Or maybe she's a sweet girl under the impression that she's a bitch. Wow, what a personality crisis; we both got ourselves completely fooled. If she wants to be a bitch, then I suppose I'll just be sweet. But remember that someday I'll turn into a complete dick. You've been warned! Better pray that I won't get that gold emblem with two M's in it. It's okay, I'm magnificent either way.

First Steps

I'm the proud father of a brand new baby.
I'm not talking about Iva's kiddo (don't tell her, she'll freak!); that's still a few months due. No, I'm talking about my very first beat! Recently I got myself some software and started playing.
Of course I was unfortunate enough to lose my first project due to technical errors, but apparently it was meant to be cause I immediately went to work on a second one which turned out to be quite good! I had already written a piece of text and it fit the sound perfectly. With the beat ready, it was easy to complete the lyrics and hence "Eyes Wide Shut" was born.

Yes indeed; named after the movie with Tom Cruise who discovers some secret society of perverted elitists. I'll not spoil the movie so I leave it at that, but it's enough to understand the message of the song; you are responsible for keeping your eyes shut.

I've already started on something new, I'm still unsure what it's gonna be; maybe some drum 'n' bass actually! Beat making is easier for me than composing with my limited musical knowledge. But man, producing music is not easy, at all. Especially the fine tuning takes a lot of effort. Little things here small things there; if it aint perfect it aint worth it. Mastering a track is something I'm still clueless about; you play with all the buttons on the screen and when you think it sounds decent, you put on some Rick Ross and you just get blown away. How do they do that? Pro's I tell you, pro's.

Not that becoming a professional producer is something I want to do anyway; I just wanna be able to make some music so I can express myself. When I get home I'm taking my mic with me so I can actually record some tracks while I'm traveling around.

As for Art of Living stuff, we're doing pretty well here in Leipzig; we got a hall, and some people. Not enough but we still have time to get more. Also I want to organize a concert for the MDGs or Millenium Development Goals set by the UN for 2015. This process needs to be speed up cause our leaders have been slacking big time. Oh yea right, charity doesn't get you paid; the world is easily understood when you realize how shallow society is; taking more than giving. Karma can't be escaped tho; motherfuckers will get served. A cold dish.

Anyway, plan is to invite local bands for the concert, and have myself do the opening act. But that is still far away; bureaucracy ain't my friend cause I don't have time to deal with her. Paperwork is given to those who do not have the money to buy their way through. There is more trust in the paper than in the people; something must be terribly wrong. Time for war, destroy it all so we can build a proper system next time.

Man I must've drank something wrong, whatever I start talking about I end up spitting shit about the world. Whatever, I don't care. Why do we care so much about money when it's value can diminish to zero just like that? Money doesn't hold any inherent value; it is our trust in it that gives it value. So when the economy crashes, it simply means we're losing trust in our money. Why build society around something that is so fragile and so easily manipulated? Our civilization has no roots, we don't know who we are, we don't know why we're here. And MTV aint gonna give you any answers; it just distracts you from what it going on.

Wake the fuck up.

The only terrorists in this world are those who bring fear in our hearts. It's the worst disease you can be infected with. It is not some made up group of Arabics who preach their beliefs that make you fear; it's the media who show us a twisted image of other people; our people. The only thing that keeps our perverted society alive is ignorance.

Lock 'n' Load

Yesterday I arrived in Leipzig, hitch hiking of course. It was a good experience; I'm starting to get the hang of it. Soon I'll be able to call myself the hitch master! It was quite funny that when I was just dropped off at a gas station near Hannover, I went to the toilet, and when I came out I the first guy I talked to had the perfect ride ready for me. His name was Krishna and he was together with his friend Sudarshan. I mean, it really can't get any more obviously 'meant-to-be' than this.

There was an important lesson to be learned this time though. In total I have hitched 4 times now, as in 4 journeys. Every time I went on a journey I ended up not making it before midnight which left me staying over at some random gas station. This was never a nice experience, I mean they don't have beds for hitch hikers who are stuck! Then the next day I would not be looking forward to a second night out in the open, so I would tell myself that I wanted to be at my destination at this or that time. And magically, every time it happened like that; I would be there exactly on the time that I had in mind, or even earlier!

It is one of the secrets of success; having a goal in mind. But it needs to be defined properly. Saying to yourself that you want to become rich is not gonna work. You tell yourself that you want your first million by the end of the year; that is a goal. You need to be specific, and don't be afraid to have a goal in mind that might seem quite a challenge to achieve. If you know exactly what you want, then the universe will be able to start working for you. Imagine you don't know what you want, how on earth is anyone gonna be able to help you?

In a way, we're all surrounded by our personal magnetical fields. Those fields are created by our conscienceness. When we change our attitude, we change our fields, and we'll begin to attract that what we're looking for. It might be hard to swallow for some people, but you just have to realize that you don't really know anything anyway, so you might as well believe it. Easy and simple isn't it?

Lock 'n' load; I'm the soldier of my life, I shoot on sight and there aint no problem that's gonna survive! I'm gonna watch full metal jacket tonight; I love war movies! Gimme that 60's music with helicopter blades cutting the wind on the background, machine guns ready to blaze, and the privates talking shit about each other's moms. Glad I didn't choose this profession to be honest; I don't wanna fight for crooks. But after the apocalypse I'll be the first guy to create his own army! Better beware, cause I don't take prisoners!

Maybach

You ever heard of Maybach? I hadn't, until a few days ago. Maybach is a pimp ride that is quite popular in the small superficial world of hip hop. No criticism, I mean; who wouldn't want a Maybach? Sure it won't make you happy, but nonetheless I would rather have one than not have one! And for sure I would enjoy! Money doesn't make you happy, those kind of things are determined by our state of mind. However, money is a means to make your life in the physical world a lot easier and enjoyable! Multi millionaire rapster niggaz grew up without a dime and are now having so much fun. Living the good life so they say.

We all want to be able to go on holidays, and provide a good enviroment for our families and beloved ones. Money can be used to do good and bad, but Benjamin don't give a fuck who takes him or who spends him; he just wants to see as many wallets as possible. And we wanna see the world, so go on and travel; do yourself and your money a favor!

Even though I'm still on YWC for half a year, I'm starting to think of what I want to do. Thing is, things change all the time, so what's the point? There is and there isn't. I don't know how a flower is going to blossom, but I do know that when I take care of it properly it will blossom nicely some day. The tallest trees have the deepest roots, outcomes of chess can be determined in the first turns, and even the shiniest Maybach ain't gonna go far without a decent chassis.

It all starts at the base. Build a proper fundament and you can turn it into anything later on; a good basis supports everything. That's why it's useless in one way to think about the future, cause you don't know what's gonna happen anyway. But you need a drive, a goal, in order to get results. I feel for those people who study for something and actually think they're gonna do that job for the rest of their lives; talk about suicide. Why go to school when you don't even know yourself? It's the problem of our system of education; we don't learn to know ourselves, and at the same time we force kids to make up their minds regarding their future for over 10 years in advance. Sounds crazy? Hey I didn't make this up, I just don't take the world for granted.

Enough with the criticism, I don't care what you do either way. But when you see uneducated guys driving Maybachs, and graduates stressing for their 9 to 5 job... chew on that. Follow your heart, and grow those roots.

I'm in Holland, it's been so good to see my friends again! I'm gonna leave for Germany again soon though. Got a new phone, same digits, and a laptop so I can write more of this shit down while on the road. Tomorrow I'm gonna buy fruits to make a nice juice. I like juices.

I've been calling so many people lately for this yes+ follow up and winterbreak; I'm completely done calling now for a while. Really reminds me of those times at the call centre; I left after a month, so sick of it I didn't even bother to resignate. Those kind of jobs are typhical jobs. Give me a career, fuck the jobs. I'll make my own, cause I wanna pay myself; I'll stand in front of the mirror and give me my cut. I'll even make a picture so I can prove it! This is for me, that is for me, and the rest is for me too. I'm not greedy; I love to give, but I can't give what I don't have now can I? I want it all so I can give it all.

I want a Maybach so I can drive my hot ass around, see my girl, and pick up any hitchers on the way; worth more than the fucking car! And the Maybach dealer can pay his whore with my money, so she can feed her kid; that's why I want a Maybach.

Yes++ Winterbreak

I've been back now at Bad Antogast for a few days, busy now writing a report about the whole 6 month experience so far. The goal is to write a detailed report together which should contain 108 pages. My job is to write a letter of inspiration for the next generation of YWC, and to write about my experience of doing TTC 1 and 2.

Also, I've been assigned coordinator for Holland to organize the winterbreak there. The winterbreak is like a big Yes+ course that goes much deeper into the knowledge and the practice. It also involves some days in silence to get a deeper experience of the Self. Also it is a great way to spend your winter holidays by going to a warm, exotic country like India where you will meet hundreds of young people from all around the world! It is the best possible way to go on holiday; not just traveling but also experiencing something amazing at the same time, and sharing it with so many people! Also you should come with an empty suitcase because in India you can get any clothing you want for practically no money.

The only thing is, that you must have done a Yes+ course before you can sign up, because the seminar will build on to the point where we left off at the end of Yes+. This should not be a reason to lose your enthousiasm though, cause there will be a Yes+ in october! Also, I will most likely visit the Netherlands once again to organize a Yes+ and a follow up course for everyone who has done a Yes+ in the past.

The winterbreak is a now or never thing; the sooner you sign up, the cheaper flight tickets will be! So don't postphone the good things in life, but do them now; right now!

So I'll be back in Holland within a few weeks, unless plans change, which is not an extraordinary happening in the Art of Living. Anyway, I'll be looking forward to seeing everyone again! Let's hang out and compare dick sizes. See you soon!

PS. Please everyone send me an email with your phone number(s); as you know I've lost my phone together with all my numbers, so I need to build up my contact list again. Cheers!

The Trip

Ohola, the last 2 days were crazy! I was totally under the impression that my trip back hitch hiking would be so much easier than the first time, because I know a better route now. And in France that was definately the case; I frew through France like the wind, but I got stuck around Dijon and that's where all the trouble started. But let's not get ahead of myself; I would like to write about my experience a bit more in detail, so that everyone who wants to do some hitch hiking, can see this as the hitch hiker's guide for dummies.

So yesterday we left way too late. One of the things that takes the most time when you hitch hike is getting on the highway. Once you're on the highway you can just hop in cars at the gas stations and tell them to drop you at the last one that they pass before they abandon your personal route. We started at around 11 in the morning and I remember the sun was burning at 39 degrees on my skin while we were on some Spanish national way to Perpignan. If you ever wonder about the where abouts of the places I mention, don't be lazy and check google maps! So, we started a bit late, and by the time we got onto the highway it was well past noon.

Before we left we were checking the distances that we had to travel. Cause Iva had to go to Zagreb and I had to go back to Offenburg. Her route was quite a bit longer so she was annoyed with the fact that we started so late because she thought she wouldn't make it to Zagreb before midnight. in fact, I haven't received an email from her yet but I'm sure she'll be fine; before we split up we met this cool dude from Australia who was hitching to Milano, so I told her to stay with him until that point. Anyway, I was rocking the highway of France! Going through it so fast, I was sure I would be in Strassbourg somewhere in the middle of the night, and would arrive in Bad Antogast somewhere in the morning; I could not have been more wrong.

You see, when you hitch hike there are a few things to consider. First off you need to know where you want to go of course, and secondly you need to make yourself a route of how to get there, going over the highways passing the big cities. And the best checkpoints to use along the highways are gas stations for various reasons. You can pick your car, you can go to the toilet, buy food and water, you have a better chance of getting people to take you because of the personal interaction, and people who fill up their car are likely to go a long way.

However, the most important thing is that you know how the traffic is flowing. All the roads are connected somehow, so getting somewhere in your own car is not so hard, but people who stop at gas stations often go in a specific direction; 90% of the people at the gas station will drive in the same direction! This means 2 things: it's very easy to get a ride when you're at the right spot, but it's also very hard to get a ride when you're at the wrong spot. Getting this sense of traffic, - knowing in which way the people are going - is the most important when it comes to hitching. Standing at the wrong spots can take you hours, standing at the right spots makes your trip go as fast as if you were driving your own car. This was the mistake I made at Dijon; standing at the wrong places.

I was stuck in Dijon for 5 hours, starting at around 1 in the morning. It felt like it was freezing out there, so my motivation to ask for a ride became less and less because nobody would go into my direction and it was so freakin' cold! I decided to stay inside for a while, in the end I ended up making an attempt as sleeping for about 1 hour. Then I decided to just go out and keep asking; after all, you won't get anywhere by just sitting inside complaining to yourself about how cold it is. But like I said, nobody went into the direction of Strassbourg, so I decided to go with the flow and head a little bit north. I was thinking to just flow my way back south and end up in Strassbourg eventually. But every time I would go north and stop at the next station, those people would go up north even more! I ended up close to Cologne, which was way out of original route. Looking back at it, I think I made at least 500 kilometers too many!

It was at this point that I started getting desperate; time was ticking and I didn't want to sleep another night outside cause I was tired already. I even remember myself crying out of despair. At least I quickly managed to pull myself together and to just focus on solving my problem. It was then that I met a beautiful woman who offered to help me out. She and her husband drove me onto the highway that was going all the way south to Strassbourg and left me there at the first gas station; she even gave me a sandwich that she had just bought! It was a really good sandwich. Anyway, once I was at the right road on the right side, I flew through Germany even faster than I did through France; hitching in Germany is the bomb. I like the hot ride, fast living gas giving mentality of the Germans when it comes to traveling on the autobahn.

I told myself I was gonna be at Offenburg at 10. In fact I was in Bad Antogast at 10! Now while I'm typing this I'm a really happy panda. I wonder if Iva made it home earlier than I did; it probably won't be much of a difference. Oh and one more thing: sometimes people are not so sure about whether they should take you or not, although most of the time people are really generous and will not hestitate to take you with them. This happened to me in France; the guy had room and was going the right way but was not so sure. I said "what, you want me to flip a coin?" and that broke the ice. It came very spontanious but it's a great line to use if anyone is in doubt of taking you with them.

So now I'm back in Bad Antogast, parted from Iva, and Isaac; I wanted her to take him with her. We'll meet up in October around my birthday. And now, my friends, I'm gonna get some well deserved sleep. Night!

Barca Barca!

A lot has happened since my last post! We conducted the course in Freiburg with Krishi; that was a really nice experience. Every time I see this guy I get more and more inspired to do more, to make better use of my capacities. We also talked a lot about relationships and why women are so hard to please. To be honest at times I grow really tired of Iva. I'm not going into details; that would not be fair, but you can be damn sure that the only thing that keeps me from breaking up at times is my commitment. I believe in commitments as long as it's something worth committing to. The thing is that our feelings change all the time; you cannot rely on them to take you somewhere because you will end up nowhere. It's our commitments that make us go somewhere, but a good commitment is made from the heart. Even when you choose to do something you really love, you will still face ups and downs. A proper commitment is to combine the heart with the head; to walk your path with devotion.

After the course ended, we immediately left the next morning to Barcelona. We figured we wanted some more tan out of this summer, so we chased the sun all the way into Catalonia. Yes indeed, Barcelona is not Spain; whatever that means. But Barcelona is a wonderful place, a really nice city that you must have seen at least once in your life! It's got shops, restaurants, clubs, bars, museums, and also nice parks. It even has a beach, but the Spanish aren't too familiar with vegetarism unfortunately. We stayed with a guy who had a really dirty house, so we cleaned it before we went to bed; it was simply too dirty to live in, even for me! I remember the floor was covered in dust and under our bed were 3 used condoms from his house mate who did not live there for centuries. But once it was cleaned up, the energy in the room was so much better; a little bit of effort can really transform a place.

So how did we get there? Hitch hiking! It's a great way of transportation. First off it's free and secondly you get to meet a lot of different people. In fact, it's quite fast too, because it only took us 24 hours and 11 different cars to get to Barcelona. And we didn't even take the fastest route. I remember in the night I fell asleep in one of the cars so we ended up in Montpeiller. You have to understand that when you hitch, you should go from gas station to gas station; stay on the highway where the traffic is at, don't get stuck in some city. It was the middle of the night and I really didn't feel like sleeping somewhere in the open, so we walked along the highway to the first gas station. Fortunately, someone from the highway patrol took us with him and he dropped us off at the first gas station where we took another ride. It's quite an adventure!

To get back on track; after a few days of Barcelona we decided to go to this small village at the sea called Cadaques where one of our friends from YWC was staying. She gave us a really nice room with a big bed where we have been staying for a few nights now. I got myself hurt on those spiky black thingies in the sea, and I got a burned back from the sun; I'm a typhical tourist. I enjoyed the place a lot though, spent too much money on the great food that they offer here and tomorrow I'm going back to Bad Antogast. Iva will be going back to Croatia since her visa expired yesterday. So we will be seperated until october; we decided to meet up aroud my birthday and go somewhere together. Isaac will be going with her for these 2 months; I'm gonna miss him!

Also, I lost my phone on the way to Barcelona, so there is no use in calling me or sending me messages. If you want to tell me something just send it through mail. I'll get a new phone soon enough so don't worry, and I still have my dutch SIM card. It's just karma; what can you do. Shit happens! Bad karma is taken from you when it does, so just be grateful. Money you cannot take with you to the next life, but karma you will take, whether you want it or not; so live a good life, even if only for the sake of your next one.

Make that bitch happy

It's been a while since my last post isn't it.

It's funny; I have so much to write about that I simply don't know where to start, and for sure I will forget about alot of things that are worth mentioning. Anyhow, just to get that out of the way, we're doing pretty good here in Freiburg. We've moved to a few places since we came here, we're now at our third address and saturday we'll leave again. At first I saw this as a bad thing, but now I realize that moving around all the time is actually a good way to get to know new people. And we need to get to know as many people as possible because we need to build up a strong network. Networking is everything; in fact you don't even really need to be able to know things or do things yourself, you just have to know the right people.

Getting people is most important for a seminar. You can have a nice hall and everything well prepared, but in the end it's the people that make a seminar so beautiful, because they get to experience something completely new which is often gratefully taken. Since our budget here is so small, we have to spend a minimum amount of money on things. Now and then we go for the market to ask for free food; you'd be surprised to see how much you can get by just asking. It's not seldom that we go home with a few bags filled with food for the rest of the week.

You cannot be afraid to ask favours, especially not when you realize that it is for a good cause. You don't ask for these favours for just yourself, but for everyone. Acts of generosity do not move from one person to another and then stop; they move on, they bring a positive pulse to the world.

Be generous, it will surely come back to you. Everything you do affects you. What you will get in life, and what you will not get. Today we managed to get a hall for free for the duration of the whole course! There was no way we could've afforded to rent anything so I'm very glad that we succeeded in this. It was not so easy because most places close in Germany during August because that is when summer holidays start. But we managed to get a place in a dance school; it's very nice, one of the teachers there actually offered me to take a ballet lesson so I thought: Why not?

So tomorrow will be my first ballet lesson ever! I would've never thought to be ever practicing ballet, but fortunately I can still surprise myself. It is a week until the course starts, we just need people now and a teacher. We'll pull it off, for sure. I have a good feeling about it. Also we managed to have some companies sponsor our flyers. We got about 1500 colour printed flyers for 30 euros on the spot! The guy at the copy shop gave us a huge discount and we definately have the best flyers of all of CLP. I'll be keeping it in my USB stick as a trophy.

I really wonder what will happen after this course. It will be my third, so maybe I will get the tape and the manual and become a full teacher. Who knows? I know who! Always with a big smile on his face because you don't know what's coming, and that's what makes it fun. Anyway, what I do think to know is that after this course I'll be taking a small vacation with Iva to where ever. You see, women are still women; they can never make up their mind. First it was Paris, then Barcalona, then Sicily, Sardinia, Cyprus, Malta, I'm starting to lose track on the latest developments. So I'll just wait until the moment is there and see what she wants. I don't really mind where we're going, I can feel at home anywhere; as long as she's happy.

You should watch Chris Rock about relationships, just type it onto youtube and you'll find a hilarious show about...relationships. Just know that when you look in the mirror you oughta say to yourself "fuck you, let's make this bitch happy".

Global Health Catastrophe

Some news which is a bit less positively charged than my usual posts, I know.
As you read this, measures are being taken by a high level conspiracy involving the UN, high political figures in both North American and European governments and a number of big pharmaceutical corporations, to create a pandamic on global scale with a bioengineered virus which we know as the swine or bird flu.

In fact, this is not a natural virus, it's a man made one. The plan is to create a pandamic, after which the WHO (branch of the UN) will have the power to enforce people to take vaccinations. These vaccinations are not for your health; they consist of various toxins designed to shut down the immune system and eventually, kill us.

It's part of a plan to take control over North America and Europe, by an elite group operating in the highest echelons of society. The chaos of mass death will bring forth economic collapse, starvation and wars. Two thirds of the world's population will be dead within 10 years. So prepare yourself, choose your leaders carefully, or lead yourself.

Call me crazy, but you can read for yourself. Know that this is not the only source which I got this from. It's been going on for a while already; it's just that this person has done some deep research and presents it very crisp and clear.
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=14475

Buttered Pretzels

Buttered pretzels; they are the best. Don't underestimate the significance of buttered pretzels.
During my stay in Germany, I've been observing the buttered pretzel phenomenon. It all started when I went to Hamburg with Krishi. We left like really early; we were actually the first group to leave (which is not surprising when you have Krishi as a team leader); we were on our way at around 6 am. Ofcourse we didn't have breakfast yet, and not many shops are open at that time of day. So we stopped at this bakery to get - can you guess? - buttered pretzels! Two for each person. It was so delicious, I was amazed how good something so simple can taste.

So from that time on I was always looking for buttered pretzels, but it ain't that easy. Not all the bakeries in Germany have buttered pretzels; they all do have pretzels, but they're not all as committed in buttering them. Everyone knows however, that a pretzel and a buttered pretzel are totally incomparable. It's like yin and yang; you can't have one without the other!
Believe me, I've eaten plain pretzels, but they're horrible. It's salty and dry, way too dry. I still can't understand how a bakery would produce pretzels without buttering them. When I was in Mainz I actually got to a point that I started getting annoyed with all the lazy bakers who didn't butter their pretzels. Sometimes they would tell me they don't have butter - yes I know, a bakery without butter; absurd! - and other times they would even dare to give me a small packet of butter as in "here, do it yourself". This is a call to all bakers: Please, butter your pretzels.

But then it struck me. As you know, I'm in Freiburg now and I've been looking for the best bakery to offer me a fully buttered pretzel for the lowest price. You see, there are 3 types of pretzels. You have plain pretzels, you have semi-buttered pretzels and finally there's the fully buttered pretzel. Ofcourse I'm looking for the last one. A semi-buttered pretzel is a whole lot better than a plain pretzel, - in fact, on a good day I could even pay for it - but it still ain't that what makes a fully buttered pretzel so delicious. A semi-buttered pretzel is a pretzel in which only the big half is buttered; the baker couldn't be arsed to cut the small part of the pretzel which has the knot in it so to say. When I get that kind of pretzel, I always first eat the unbuttered part, and then I can fully enjoy the buttered part which is fortunately the biggest.

Anyway, to get back to what I wanted to say; in Freiburg almost every bakery sells semi or fully buttered pretzels! I started thinking, why don't they do this in Mainz? And then I realized: It's the quality of the town that determines the quality of the pretzel! It makes sense; Germany is the country of pretzels as much as it is the country of beer and bratwurst. But since I'm a vegetarian and don't drink beers too often, the pretzel is that which reminds me of Germany.
In Holland we have a similar thing; the amount of hookers and coffeeshops determine the quality of the city; that's why Amsterdam is so cool.

So when you're in Germany, always check the bakeries for buttered pretzels. I can already tell you that Freiburg is a no brainer; it's the best town when you're not looking for hardcore cities like Berlin, Hamburg or Munich. Today I visited the mayor of Freiburg. There was this band from Scotland with like 25 people playing the bagpipe. Afterwards they went to visit the mayor, so me and Iva came along pretending we were supposed to be there. We sat in a nice historic room where a few guys gave their speeches, and after that we approached the mayor and told him that we're looking for a hall, for free. He sent us to someone who's gonna do her best for us, so we'll see what comes out of it! Also we went to this Tibetian house where we managed to get a hall for free for next sunday; we're gonna have long kriya there with the participants of last course, and then we'll tell them that we're organizing a new course and that we want them to invite their friends. The party will be complete when Ajay - awesome Yes+ teacher from Holland - will show up too!

I can't wait 'til I can teach these courses myself; it's gonna be so cool! Hopefully I'll get the Yes+ manual and kriya tape in the next 6 months. I feel that a lot is going to happen. We're only at the beginning and we've already undergone such a huge transformation; it's really amazing how much you can learn in such a short time. I feel like I felt before YWC; I don't know what will happen, I only know that I'll be happy that I'm here. And I already am.

So if you see a plain pretzel, don't try and butter them yourself, but contact the nearest baker immediately!

Freiburg: Reloaded

Life can be so funny at times. Full of seemingly coincidences, but in fact, everything is tied together with strings that we cannot see. It's beautiful! That's why we need to develop this sense of belonginess because it connects us not only to our enviroment, but also to ourselves.

This morning I woke up in a place I wasn't supposed to be, so I quickly grabbed my stuff and left. Then I focussed on the goal that I set for myself yesterday: Today I'm going to Freiburg for the next Yes+ course. I did it without the permission of the management; in fact, Camille actually told me to choose between Frankfurt or Dresden and not to go to Freiburg.
However, yesterday evening Tatiana and Alejo arrived in Bad Antogast. I'm not sure where they came from but I was sitting outside when they arrived. We spoke shortly and I told them about my situation; that I wanted to go to Freiburg, because we have connections there, instead of Frankfurt.

Tatiana agreed that we should head to Freiburg because there are so many young people living there; it's a student city after all. And on top of that, The Dude himself said to her that we should continue the work in Freiburg. Alejo reminded me that Guruji is still the person with the highest authority over YWC, and that we should follow his plans. It was refreshing.
Moments later I was sitting behind the computer, writing a mail to Camille saying that I'm heading to Freiburg.

So today I read my mail, Camille wrote me back that I shouldn't go to Freiburg, but we still went. There was a ride - coincidently - going to Oberkirch from where we hitched. It took us 2 cars to get to Freiburg. The first one was a BMW! Second one a Mercedes, also fine.
It's so nice to hitch hike in Germany; it's all BMW's, Mercedeses, Audi's, and Porches!
When we got here we dropped our stuff at the appartment and went out to the market to get some free food. We ended up with a huge bag of food! But now comes the funny part. So we go back home and on the way there's this University which we use for internet, I check my mail and what do I see: Mail from Camille.

"Hello dear,
so you can go to Freiburg.
Ask for some money from Lars and have a nice time."

Priceless.

So now we need to meet up with our friends here, get ready to pay the mayor a visit because we want a free hall this time, and organize some introtalks and workshops.
We can use the Millenium Goals of the U.N. to meet with people and organizations and create a bridge between our interests. I want to have a bigger Yes+ in Freiburg and I want to get 1000 euro donation money!

Everything is connected, you just need to be aware of this, because that is what connects; consciousness.

JGD

Yes+ with Krishi

The Yes+ course started a few days ago, today is the last day of the course actually.
We shortened it to 5 days, we started on friday and it has been a wonderful ride so far.
I'm really starting to feel it, this teaching thing. When I was in Mainz and Freiburg I was still having doubts whether this was gonna be a thing for me, but now I'm really looking forward to keep doing this for another 6 months. I'm very excited to see what will happen; a world is opening up to me and it's only the beginning!

The other day I was talking with Iva about what makes this kind of work so beautiful. She didn't understand how one could be a full-time teacher; basically telling the same story to people every time. Then I told her that it's more about giving something to people that is truly valuable and watch how they grow, loosen up and become that person who they really want to be; who they really are by nature. Yesterday I asked Krishi about this and he confirmed what I thought to be true. The most important motivation as a teacher in general is simply helping people, teach them something and see how they grow by applying the knowledge that you're giving them.
That is why this work is so beautiful; you can make a big change in someone's life, you can give that which someone has been waiting for so long.

Iva won't join my little adventure; she's going to New York in the beginning of 2010. Man, time flies. I still remember 2000, when everyone thought all the computers which were not 'millenium-proof' were gonna crash. What a joke. Anyway, we'll be seperated in a few months so I'll see how things will turn out. Life can be like a factory; you put some stuff in, then alot of processes happen that you don't understand or aren't even aware of, and then something comes out and you're like "Wooow!". It's better to enjoy this than to reject the outcome of things. After all, it has already happened, you might aswell accept and enjoy it for what it is instead of being annoyed for what it is not. Besides, most things in life are small, it is nothing more than our judgement that can bring us down; "Oh no I don't like this, and now I feel bad :(". It's hilarious!

One of the things I've been thinking about is going to New York myself when I'm done with CLP. I'll just go there, work a bit and get to know the city. Then I'll orientate myself and choose something to study there while building up a network for my music business. I also have the idea that exploring the underground hip hop scene of the Big Apple would be a good opportunity to destroy my ego by doing rap battles. I can imagine it's almost as effective as learning the game of picking up women, which is also very good for destroying the ego.

Why I'm so obsessed with this? Simple; the ego is that which keeps us from having total confidence. Ego and confidence are opposites and trust me, ego brings misery, alot of misery. People with big ego's may seem happy because they are so sure of themselves, but eventually they will see that they are not who they think they are. It's at that point that confidence starts to take shape, because you know who you are, and nothing what you do or what other people say will change that. Then self amusement comes; you'll have fun making yourself look ridiculous. Whoever said that it's stupid to laugh hardest about your own jokes was wrong; it's the best to laugh hardest about your own jokes, but only when it's genuine. This is confidence, and since the self is always coming through, it doesn't matter how stupid you appear to be because everyone will know that you are just a mass of confidence which is indestructible; you actually show your solidity by making fun of yourself.

Anyway, enough of that, I could go on for hours and someday I will! Because I want to create my own empowerment seminar especially for men. So today is the last day of the course and it's gonna be alot of fun! After that me and Iva were thinking of going to Freiburg; at the moment we're contacting our network to see if we can expect some help there.
Cya later alligator!