Lessons Learned

Yesterday Rajshri left. It was quite an emotional event for most people. She's been such a big help in our development, she was the perfect teacher for our group.
As she was leaving the room, she looked me into the eyes and then hugged me. It touched me so deeply, it was incredible. It was then that I felt the tears in my eyes. I thanked her, she's taught me something really valuable over the days. She said "you're so welcome" and I really felt the love like a mother, or something more even.
There was nothing left to be said, everything was alright. And I'm sure, that someday I'll meet her again.

So the rest of the day passed by quietly, I went to take a walk with Iva in the forest, we explored quite a lot. Then in the evening we had satsang as usual, and after that we always have a few people read a passage of one of Guruji's books. This time it was my turn, I read about how liars are innocent. It made me think of my friend Payway, because he always manages to fool me, I fall for it every time!
Then I shared about how I'm a bad liar, so I make sure I don't have to lie. And I talked about how lying is hiding a part of yourself to others, and in that process you deny that part of yourself; it doesn't give you peace, it'll get stuck somewhere and causes stress.
It's better to admit to others and yourself, than to lie.
This doesn't mean you can't fool other people, that's a different kind of lying, it's for the sake of fun. What you do is not that important, it's about the intention behind it. If your intentions are not coming from your center, then you're moving away from yourself, you'll feel weak and you become a stranger to yourself.
Don't be afraid to risk showing yourself, you can't gain anything if you don't risk anything. Don't be afraid to lose, there is nothing to lose. It doesn't matter how you feel or how you are, cause if you go deep enough you'll find that you already have everything that you want to have, you are everything that you want to be. There is nothing to add, there's only stuff to take away, like all those lies that are about self denial.

After that the teacher Regina asked me about my life and said that things probably work out for me very easily. Just smile and it's alright, as she said. It was then that I realized that especially I need a teacher. I rarely get blows, so for me it's very hard to learn from experiences when they're almost always positive. Because there's always something to learn out of everything, but it is in the negative experiences that your attention is drawn upon that which didn't work out, and it is then that it will raise your awareness and allows you to grow. It's very similar to martial arts, if you train with someone who is worse than you, you won't get punished for the mistakes you make. Whereas if you train with a master, he'll hit you for every mistake you make, because he recognizes them.
I used to think that I didn't need anyone, I can be my own teacher. And to some degree this is definately true, I can go through life on my own, but I can grow so much faster with someone who can see more than I do when I look into the mirror.
It is exactly those who are generously gifted, like me, who are in need of a teacher. I mean you can be succesful on your own, but you can be legendary with a little bit of help. I thanked Regina and said I really appreciate her being there for me, it was only then that I truly realized how important a teacher is for me.
This was especially true with Rajshri. I move fast now, but I can move so much faster!

I also learned that if someone hits you, it's better to just take it and not hit back, than to hit back. Because that will give the other the opportunity to allow the stupidity to go on. Don't allow this to happen, be the bigger man and end it when the ball is in your field. Even if you're the one to deliver the last punch, you'll still end up with a feeling of guilt and the responsibility to make up. All these things get stuck in your head, it's not worth it.
Be the bigger man, not only for yourself, but also for others. When you serve yourself genuinely, then you also serve those around you.

I'll be staying here in Bad Antogast for a few more days; the music group needs me for the performance on Guruji's birthday. So I'll be leaving for Holland a little bit later than planned. I think I'll be there around the 14th of May.
See ya guys soon!

-Socratez