Hidden Beauty

I did it again, broke another record! Yesterday Eva came back (local AOL teacher) from India, after not having slept for about 40 hours. She came earlier than I expected, because I hadn't cleaned the place up yet. But I knew she was too tired to complain about the place being dirty (that is, dirty according to her standards), so I could clean up a bit before hell broke lose.

It sounds worse than it actually was. This morning she was very friendly and showed me what I should clean, and so I did. Women in AOl are always very tidy, I don't know how come. But really, live together with them for a while, and your perception of dirt is broadened; when we showed me the dirty spots, they all looked new to me! I just never noticed. Personally, I like cleaning when a place is noticably dirty. It's just no fun to clean and not see a difference, feels like you're wasting your time.

Opposite values are complementary; that's why I like to shower when I'm really dirty. Showering every morning is ok, but it's nicer to shower when you just came from the forest or something where you were rolling in the dirt and been running around, so your skin is covered in a mixture of sweat and sand - lovely! Then when you take a shower you see all the water coloring brown as it leaves your body, and then you're clean! Good feeling.

Yesterday I read another chapter of David Icke's 'Infinite Love', it's really amazing how 2 hours of reading taught me more about the human organism than all those years of biology in high school ever did; not even close, not even comparable. When I was in school, I always had a feeling I was wasting my time. That's why I never was a good student, skipped many hours of classes, and had bad marks. Like, just good enough to barely pass to the next grade. Now, after all these years, I realize that indeed I was wasting my time. It's just that I'm very grateful that I met some of my best friends in that place, but school itself? Nah.

Also, I highly doubt I would ever be able to go back to university, having this knowledge. It would just feel like wasting another 3 years of my time, just so I can show off some meaningless piece of paper saying "look I'm smart". I couldn't care less, you can call me stupid but it won't change anything. Just another opinion.

When I was younger I always had the feeling that I was right, even though everyone else was saying otherwise. It was this thought of: You may all say this, but why couldn't you all be wrong? This is definitely not far from the truth. Say, where do you get your opinions from? It's not like everyone made up their own opinion, bollocks. Most people - and with that I really mean most as in, you too - have the opinions of others. Where do we get our information from? Media. Who controls the media? I say no more. Your opinions may differ slightly, but in the end they're all, I would say 'working as intended'; they've been programmed into your mind.

So to say that a majority of people saying the same thing adds anything to credibility is actually total bullshit. I would say it's the other way around: When everyone says this, then that's probably not true. To quote Oscar Wilde: "When people agree with me, I always get the feeling I must be wrong". When I finish with Icke, I'm going to read some of his stuff.

Sometimes I think back: How was I 1, 3, 5, 8 years ago? I come to the conclusion that I was depressed most of the time in high school, I just didn't want to accept misery in my life. There was no room for crying, although eventually it would always catch up on me. How could a joyful little guy like me be depressed? It's because I couldn't accept reality as I was perceiving it; that shitty wold could not be it, how was I gonna live a happy life in that world? I was lost, didn't feel at home in this world, but also didn't know where else to go; it was all around me!

Now, I realize that I've been really fortunate, although it was bound to happen. In a series of events that barely took 1.5 years up to this point, my whole perception, my whole life changed. I'm happy now. It's amazing how much can happen in such a short time, simply mind blowing! I'm 22 now, it took me over 20 years to find truth. I've been brainwashed my whole life; it's amazing that I was even able to accept new ideas after all the indoctrination that is passed down by DNA, which is activated by RNA.

There's nothing romantic about human nature; we really are just biological computers who receive and transmit unimaginable amounts of information every second. All our emotions really are nothing more than chemical reactions. So that's it? No, not in the slightest. The only thing I'm pointing out, is that our bodies, feelings, emotions, are all just software programs, and they cannot define who you are. You're infinite consciousness, whether aware of it or not. The whole world you perceive is a hologram inside your head. Everything is just energy vibrating on a specific frequency, our 5 senses just decode these waves into holograms.

Nice huh? I mean, ignorance is definitely not bliss. Above all, I would want to know the truth. So does this mean the world has become a darker place for me? Not at all! It's very good to know that this horrible place is in fact not real, and that the only truth is happiness, bliss, and joy. Also, the more I root myself in truth, the easier it will become to navigate through this world. It's like Neo in the matrix; when he realizes who he is, he's able to manipulate the matrix through consciousness.

If you made it this far into reading, then kudos to you; I think most people would've stopped a long time ago. I wish you'll find happiness, it's closer than you think!

You're beautiful.